Never Let You Go
by quelirain
Summary: Relena doesn't love Heero... too bad Heero doesn't know that, with the wedding coming up and all... Warnings: 1xR, 2xR, Rx?, and a few surprises down the road. R&R! R&R! [discontinued]
1. Chapter 1

Never Let You Go part 1 Warnings: angst, some het, some yaoi, touch of het lime in later parts. 4+3/3+4 implied.

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine.

Spoilers: Nothing noticeable unless you've seen the parts I've given away.

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at quelirain@yahoo.com.   
  
  
  


Never Let You Go   
Chapter 1   
by quelirain 

  


__

I've been a bad, bad girl   
__I've been careless with a delicate man   
__And it's a sad, sad world   
__When a girl will break a boy just because she can

_Don't you tell me to deny it_   
_I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins_   
_I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true_   
_And I just don't know where I can begin_

_--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

Relena huddled in the dark backseat of the cab, clutching Quatre's wallet in her shaking hands. Her bare feet were jammed into her slip-on shoes, her heel crushing their backs, and long tendrils of tangled hair hung in her face.

_//"Take my wallet. It's in the back pocket of my pants," Quatre ordered calmly. "There's enough money in that wallet to get you away from here." Quatre's eyes and his gun never wavered from the prussian-eyed shadow across the room._

_"God, Quatre! Please, I can't do this! I can't!"_

_"You can, Relena. And you will." //_

And she had. She'd crawled across the bed to where Quatre was standing, taken the wallet from his back pocket just like he'd told her, and left him there. Abandoned him to face Heero. An enraged Heero.

The shuttle port loomed outside the window, offering what little safety it could.

_// The cab had just pulled up in front of Quatre's apartments when she heard the shot. She looked up to the lit window on the 23rd floor--the light of the room she'd just fled--staring, hoping for a signal, something to indicate what had happened. But the light remained constant, and no shadows passed in front of the curtain._

_"Lady, you gettin' in or what?"_

_She looked at the grizzled driver blankly._

_"Hey, the meter's runnin'. It's your money."_

_There wasn't time to think. Quatre would delay Heero no matter what the cost. She swung herself into the cab and slammed the door. "Take me to the shuttle port, and there'll be extra for you if you hurry."_

_"Got it." The driver sped off. //_

Relena paid the driver, then walked into the shuttle port. She bought tickets under the name Relena Darlian, one for each colony cluster. She wasn't going to make this easy for Heero.

She found a quiet corner of the waiting area, then opened Quatre's wallet. Inside she found his identification, security clearance, debit card, and some cash. She counted the bills carefully, noting that it was the universal denomination--untraceable, but it would mark her as a foreigner on any of the colonies. The only place universal cash was used on a regular basis was in large cities on Earth; everywhere else there was some sort of local currency, or else everyone used debit cards.

There was also a faded picture all of those who'd fought together during the war. Lady Une, Catherine, Hilde, Sally, Howard, and of course the five pilots themselves, together, smiling. It was the only time they'd all been together since the war ended nearly a decade ago.

Behind the photo was a picture of Trowa. He still had his hair combed in front of his eye, but his shoulders had broadened, and Relena suspected he'd grown a good six inches since she'd seen him last. Relena smiled. _I knew those two were closer than they pretended to be._

After waiting about fifteen minutes, she boarded the shuttle to the L-2 cluster. It had been the third to leave. She hoped Heero would think she just took the first shuttle she could off the planet, which would have placed her in the middle of L-4. If Heero thought as she feared he did, he'd think she'd flee to L-4, where Quatre's main estate was.

Relena closed her eyes, controlling the tears, but not the memory of the events that sparked them.

_// She walked into the lobby and pressed the button next to the name Winner._

_A sleepy voice answered. "Yes?"_

_"Quatre, it's Relena Darlian," she said quietly._

_"Come on up! I'll send down the elevator." The door buzzed, and Relena pushed it open, then walked to Quatre's private elevator. Quatre was waiting for her when the doors opened on the 23rd floor._

_"Relena, what a surprise! I thought you'd be in Brussels by now." Relena shook her head and threw herself against him, sobbing. Quatre's arms wrapped around her firmly, holding her while she wept, murmuring sounds of reassurance and comfort._

_After the initial onslaught slowed, Quatre gently turned her face upward. He'd gotten taller over the years, now just barely reaching 6 feet. He'd always stayed lean, but he'd maintained his strength as he'd grown._

_"Let's sit down," he said quietly, taking her to a dimly lit den. She sat on the couch, legs tucked beneath her. Walking over to the built-in bar, he poured a glass of water and offered it to her. She sipped it, the water washing away the knot in her throat._

_Quatre's blue eyes shone with concern and worry. "What's wrong?" he asked._

_Relena curled up into a ball at the end of the couch. "It's Heero," she whispered. "I want to end it with Heero."_

_Quatre eyes widened with surprise. "The wedding's in just a few weeks." They both knew the media would have a field day once word got out. Relena still was active politically, but she'd been transferring more and more of her duties to Milliard as the wedding approached. The press had been understanding--to a point. Just a few weeks ago, they'd been questioning her competence as a world leader. She couldn't take another scandal._

_"I know," she said miserably. "But I can't keep lying to him... or myself."_

_"How so?"_

_She turned her face up to Quatre's, meeting his eyes. "I've been seeing someone else," she said bluntly.//_

A tear trickled from the inner corner of her eye. She angrily wiped it away, but another came, accompanied by a hiccupping breath.

Reaching into her pocket, she searched for the one object of comfort she'd brought with her. It was a gold cross, plain, with a simple chain of the same metal. Her hands shook as she clasped it around her neck, then covered it with her hand to press it to her throat.

Soon, her breathing eased, and she slept.

~owari chapter 1~   
  



	2. Chapter 2

Never Let You Go part 2 Warnings: angst, 1xR, ?xR, Rx?, light het lime in later chapters, 4+3/3+4 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this,   
you know the routine. 

Spoilers: Soft of... it's more of a variation than a spoiler, based on the end of episode 2 (but nothing major). 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at   
quelirain@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 2   
by quelirain 

  


_Don't you tell me to deny it_   
_I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins_   
_I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true_   
_And I just don't know where I can begin_

_—Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

  


Relena dreamed. 

// _She was standing on the pier where she'd finally caught up with the strange boy she'd found lying unconscious in the waves. He was strange... so strange. But she had to stop him. She heard herself plead with him, trying to reach him... then found herself staring into the barrel of a gun._

_She heard a shot and closed her eyes, expecting her world to turn black and fade away, but when it didn't she opened her eyes again. "Heero!"_

_She turned and saw glittering purple eyes shadowed by a black cap, holding a gun and aiming it at Heero. But instead of going to help Heero, she stood and watched calmly._

_"Obviously you are the bad guy here, aren't you?" the boy said before addressing Relena. "Are you all right, miss?" Relena looked at Heero's cold blue eyes and shivered, then moved to stand behind the boy dressed in black._

_Heero lunged for his gun, but the aim of the other boy was true. Three shots took Heero down—one in the chest, one in the neck, and one in the middle of his forehead._

_Relena looked down at her hands. A warm stickness coated them._

_Blood._// 

"Miss?" Relena's eyes snapped open, not hiding the terror in them. "Are you all right?" 

Relena smiled shakily at the concerned flight attendant. "Fine, thank you." 

"We're going to be landing shortly. Please put on your seat belt." 

Relena nodded, glad that the woman hadn't commented on her uncanny resemblance to Relena Peacecraft. After nearly ten years of peace, the "other" names of those who obtained and maintained the peace had slipped from the public view. Zechs Marquis and Relena Darlian had been among those casualties. She always used Peacecraft now, except among friends from the war. Of those who did remember, few recognized her without her makeup and trademark suit. 

Shortly after landing, she hailed another cab to take her to the heart of the city. She hadn't dared call first. She was amazed she'd gotten as far as she had. 

//A little longer,// she thought as the cab flew through the streets of the main colony of the L-2 cluster. It dropped her off a shopping area, several blocks from her final destination. She'd learned from her earlier mistake. Going directly to Quatre's from her home had made her extremely easy to find, but she hadn't known what else to do. 

And, after a few hours of sleep, he'd found her. 

She slipped into a small store near the end of the block and asked directions to the Maxwell school. It was a calculated risk. Heero would dismantle the colony piece by piece if necessary to find her, but Relena knew she wouldn't be able to hide from him long enough to justify his doing so. Not so much as a dust particle escaped Heero's notice when it came to her safety, and here she was, wandering one of the more dangerous colonies, alone. Heero would find her; it was his mission, and he would complete it or die trying. 

Following the directions, she turned at the corner. It was midday on the colony, so Duo would be at the school he'd built here. Normally she'd wait at his home, but she'd left so quickly that there hadn't been time to take anything with her, including his key. 

//_ Milliardo was waiting on Relena's bed when she came out of the shower in her towel. His posture was relaxed, but his eyes radiated tension._

_"Milliardo? What's going on?"_

_He motioned for her to be silent. "Heero started interrogating your security detail. He knows about the trips."_

_"H-how did he find out?" Relena stammered._

_Milliardo grimaced. "I'm not sure, but it won't take him long to put everything together once he extracts the details from the team."_

_Relena rushed to the closet and pulled on a pair of jeans and shirt. Stuffing her feet into her sneakers, she strode toward the door._

_"Where are you going?"_

_"You know my security team. Heero will have to make them talk, and he'll use any means necessary." Relena reached for the door, but Milliardo grabbed her. "Let me go! I'll talk to him, tell him I needed some space, explain things—"_

_Gently, he pressed a hand over his sister's mouth. "Relena." Milliardo looked at his sister with pity in his eyes. "I don't mean he'll find out how many trips you took for meetings that never happened. He knows *why* you kept going to L-2." Relena's eyes widened at the emphasis. "I never agreed with what you were doing; you know that. But I'm not going to let Heero hurt you—or anyone else—over it. You need to leave."_

_"But the guards—"_

_"I'll handle it, but I need to know you're out of harm's way. You have to leave, now, until Heero calms down."_// 

She'd been out of the house within ten minutes, taken through back doors and secret passages she hadn't imagined existed. He'd shoved her into a waiting cab. And she'd gone to the closest safe place she could think of—to Quatre's—waiting for him to cool off. 

//Milliardo... Heero, if you hurt him—// Relena cut off the thought, feeling tears rise in her eyes. If Heero chose to execute her brother and every member of the security detail that had helped her escape her fiancé, there was nothing she could do. She wasn't a fighter. 

Relena bit her lip. She would not cry. There wasn't time to cry now. 

She knew Duo couldn't save her, and she didn't want him to; but he could protect her from Heero's wrath. 

Maybe. 

~owari chapter 2~ 

(::chants quietly:: r&r! r&r!)   
  



	3. Chapter 3

Never Let You Go part 3 Warnings: angst, 1xR, 2xR, Rx?, light lime in later chapters, 4+3/3+4 implied.

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this,   
you know the routine.

Spoilers:

Notes: Enjoy!!

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at   
quelirain@yahoo.com.   
  
  
  


Never Let You Go   
Chapter 3   
by quelirain 

  


__

Don't you tell me to deny it   
__I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins   
__I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true   
__And I just don't know where I can begin 

__

—Fiona Apple, "Criminal"

Relena spotted the wooden cross on the top of the building first. It hovered over the other buildings in the area, carrying the promise of peace the Gundam pilots had worked to obtain and she'd worked to maintain. Next, the roof came into view, dark shingles highlighting two chimneys made of pale brick. The second story of the building was made of the same beige and tan brick had four windows with sculpted wrought iron holding them in place. The first story was hidden behind a fence that started at the corner where the school was located and stretched back two blocks in either direction. The fence itself was covered in ivy, and various plants and flowers grew next to the base of the fence.

She'd made it.

She could see the gate to the grounds from where she stood on the corner, and she headed toward it. To her surprise, it was open, but not untended. A boy with glasses, short brown hair, a blue T-shirt, and jeans sat in a lawn chair outside of a small closet-like building. Classical music floated idly from inside the structure as he flipped through the text in his lap.

He must have felt Relena watching him, because he looked up and smiled. "You're here to see Duo, right?

Relena blinked. "How did you—"

"He's been expecting you. I'm Cody." Relena shook the offered hand. "Has anyone ever told you you're a dead ringer for Relena Peacecraft?"

Relena smiled for the first time that day. "Occasionally."

Cody closed and latched the gate behind them, then they strolled up the walk to the building. "She's ill, you know."

"She is?"

"Her brother made the announcement this morning, saying that she was on strict bed rest. The wedding's going to be delayed as well."

//Nice work, Milliardo,// Relena thought with both relief and gratitude.

Cody, however, winked wickedly. "Of course, rumor has it she's pregnant."

Relena paled. "Really?"

The boy shrugged. "Who knows? Mr. Peacecraft wouldn't confirm it, but he wouldn't deny it either." Relena swallowed as several uncharitable thoughts about her brother passed through her head. Cody chattered on. "Actually, it's a pretty reasonable explanation. He's been doing a lot of work for her over the past year, more over the past three months than ever. Wonder when she's going to announce it to the world."

Years of practice helped her hold her tongue, though she did have to bite it. //Pregnant, indeed.//

They reached the doors of the building without incident, and Cody opened them for her. "Most people don't really care anymore anyway. The war's been over for years, but they don't realize how much more work it is to maintain peace."

Relena relaxed her facial muscles to keep herself from scowling. As lightly as she could, Relena asked, "So how do you know so much about her?"

Cody smiled. "School report. I'm doing research. That's why I was waiting for you. Duo knows I know what Relena Peacecraft looks like, and he said the woman he was waiting for bore quite a resemblance to her." Cody looked at her again before turning the corner. "Not to mention I got the afternoon off to wait for you."

Relena couldn't hold back a smile as they walked down a small hallway to the left of the sanctuary, then climbed a flight of stairs. Cody walked around the stairs to a small door a few more steps up and knocked.

"Come in."

Cody opened the door for Relena. Warm purple eyes in a pale heart-shaped face framed by chestnut bangs greeted her silently before addressing the boy. "Thanks, Cody." Cody took the hint and closed the door behind him as he left.

Even before the door was closed Relena was in Duo's arms, her face pressed against the black overshirt he wore. "Shh..." he murmured reassuringly. Duo stroked her hair and held her close until the shaking stopped, then settled next to her on a small sofa underneath a window.

"Milliardo called late last night to see if you'd arrived," Duo said, taking Relena's hand in his own.

Relena looked up hopefully. "Did he sound all right? I was worried about him facing down Heero."

"When it was clear that he didn't know where you had gone, Heero left him alone to handle the pr stuff. Where have you been? He's not the only one who worries, you know."

"I know. I'm sorry. I went to Quatre's."

"Quatre? I thought I was your one and only." He winked.

"I was in Amsterdam. You were here. He was in Paris. I was in a—hurry." Her last few words mingled with the choked swallow that she'd used to halt a sob. //I will not cry. I must be stronger than that.// She bit her lip.

Duo winced at her expression and pulled her closer, settling her in his embrace. "I'm sorry. You know me, always a joker." His eyes held a warmth and understanding that calmed her somewhat. "Tell me what happened."

Relena took a deep breath and forced herself to answer.

~owari chapter 3~   
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Never Let You Go part 4 Warnings: angst, 1xR, 2xR, Rx?, either Heero or Relena may be bastardized, but I can't tell which one is anymore. Maybe they both are?? Oh well. Light lime in later chapters. 4+3/4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, I'm not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none 

Notes: This entire chapter is a flashback to the night Relena spent at Quatre's. Normally, I'd italicize to mark it as a flashback, but since the entire chapter is a flashback, I didn't bother because the italics got hard on my eyes. 

AN: First, thank you all so much for the feedback on previous chapters. ^_^ It's wonderful motivation to keep working on this story, which has taken on a life of its own. (My muse is cracking her whip.) Chapter 3 was short, but it was because I was working on chapter 4. I wanted to get all the flashback in one chapter, so 3 was shorter because 4 is longer. Okay, enough with my schpiel, go read and review. 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at quelirain@yahoo.com.   
  
  


Never Let You Go   
Chapter 4   
by quelirain 

  


_What I need is a good defense_   
_'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal_

_--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

//Quatre sat on the couch next to her, his blue eyes registering surprise. "Who have you been seeing?" 

"Does it matter?" Relena said bitterly. "I have to face Heero, no matter who it is, and I don't want to risk someone else because of what I've done." 

"Heero will want to know who--" 

"No." Relena shook her head. "Heero will have to just live without that knowledge." 

Quatre paused. "Everything I've heard from you two suggested that things were going well." Relena curled up into a small ball on one end of the couch. Quatre watched her steadily. "Has he been mistreating you?" 

Relena 's head shot up. "No! Absolutely not! He loves me." 

"Do you love Heero?" 

She rested her head on her knees before answering. "I don't know." 

"And the other? Do you love him?" 

She buried her nails into her jeans. "I don't know." 

"What do you feel?" 

"I'm scared," she whispered after a long pause. 

"Of Heero?" 

She closed her eyes. "Of telling him." 

"Heero wouldn't hurt you." 

"Does a child try to hurt its favorite toy in a tug-of-war?" She sighed. "I'm not afraid of Heero. I'm afraid of being pulled apart." 

Quatre frowned. "So you do care about this other man." 

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, holding his gaze. "Yes." 

"And he cares for you." 

"Yes." Quatre looked away from Relena, but said nothing. "I didn't intend for this to happen." 

"I know." The blond studied his hands. "I just... he's my friend, too, Relena." 

The silence seemed interminable. 

"Did he tell you Milliardo and I promoted him?" Relena finally asked. Quatre shook his head. "He was one of my personal bodyguards. We made him head of security because I was ready to kill him myself." 

Quatre chuckled. "Really." 

"He went everywhere with me, and since he was doing that all day, he couldn't manage the rest of the team during the day, so he did it all at night, on that laptop of his." Her smile was painful. "Of course, since he put my safety over our relationship, actual conversation was out of the question. So we promoted him to get him off my security detail. Yet, though he personally rehired and retrained every last one of them, he still didn't trust them to do the job right. So he did the next best thing." 

"Which was?" 

"Limit my movements." 

Confused blue eyes sought hers. "What do you mean?" 

"No eating out in unapproved restaurants. No window shopping. No more lounging around with Sally or the girls, unless it was at my place. No wandering the grounds alone. Things like that. It started right after some wacko tried to shoot me at that lecture I gave at Harvard. I was afraid too. And I knew he knew what was best, at least in this area." 

Quatre cocked his head to the side, considering her words. "If he was keeping such a tight watch over you; how could you manage to-- well..." 

She didn't even flinch. "Escape? Milliardo. He was very helpful with that." 

"But doesn't your security report to Heero?" 

"Technically." She smiled wanly. "But Heero makes sure they're loyal to _me_." 

Quatre snorted. "I see." 

She turned away from Quatre's gaze, studying the tops of her shoes. Her guards weren't her friends; they couldn't be and still do their jobs. But they knew her well, and they'd helped her... and she'd abandoned them. Unconsciously, she began to rock back and forth, resting her head on her knees and struggling not to cry. 

He brushed her bangs back from her face. "You need to rest. You're safe here. Stay the night, and we'll figure out what to do in the morning." 

"Quatre--" 

"Shhh." Holding her carefully, he stood and carried her to the bedroom, where he lay her down on his bed. He pulled off her shoes and swung her legs under the covers. "Get some rest, Relena. Things will look clearer in the morning." 

"Quatre?" 

He paused. "Yes?" 

There was a desperate edge to her voice. "Stay with me." 

Obediently, Quatre slipped in next to her and wrapped her in his arms. Soon, they both fell asleep. 

"Relena." 

The gentle voice woke her. She looked up at the blond figure standing next to the bed, his gun raised and pointed at what seemed to be a wall. A wall with prussian-blue eyes. 

She sat up. "Oh my god." Heero's gaze flicked to her for a moment, taking in her rumpled clothing and disheveled hair, before returning to the gun pointed at him. "Heero, this isn't what it looks like, please, just leave, we can talk about this--" 

"He's not going anywhere, Relena. In fact, he's going to stay right where he is and not move a muscle. Aren't you, Heero?" 

Heero was silent. 

"Take my wallet. It's in the back pocket of my pants," Quatre ordered calmly. "There's enough money in that wallet to get you away from here." Neither Quatre's eyes nor his gun moved from the prussian-eyed shadow across the room. 

Her panicked eyes looked at Quatre, then Heero. "God, Quatre! Please, I can't do this! I can't!" 

"You can, Relena. And you will. Now come over here and take the wallet from my pocket." Shaking, Relena did as she was told. "Now go put on your shoes." 

The commands sounded as if they were meant for a child, but Relena couldn't handle anything more complicated. Obediently, she put on her shoes. 

"Call a cab." Relena reached for the phone on the nightstand. "Look in the desk drawer; there's a phone there. It's a secure line." 

Relena nodded. It couldn't hurt to be paranoid. She called a cab. 

"Now go, Relena." 

"Quatre, I can't leave you here like this!" 

"Leave, Relena. Now." 

"Quatre... please..." 

"Go!" 

His sharp tone, so different from his usual voice, was enough to startle her into moving. She backed out of the room, looking at them both, standing there, blue eyes fixed on prussian, and prussian eyes fixed on her. "I'm so sorry..." she whispered, then she ran to the elevator.// 

~owari chapter 4~   



	5. Chapter 5

Never Let You Go part 5 Warnings: angst, 1xR, 2xR, Rx?, either Heero or Relena may be bastardized, but I can't tell which one is anymore. Maybe they both are?? Oh well. Light lime in later chapters, 4+3/3+4 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this,   
you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at   
quelirain@yahoo.com.   
  
  
  


Never Let You Go   
Chapter 5   
by quelirain 

  


_What I need is a good defense_   
_'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal_   
_And I need to be redeemed_   
_To the one I've sinned against_   
_Because he's all I ever knew of love_

_—Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

By the time Relena finished, she was in tears again. "I left him there. I walked out and left him there. Then I heard the shot..." Sobs quickly made her words unintelligible. 

Tenderly, Duo pressed his lips to Relena's forehead, one hand rubbing her back. She burrowed her face into his shirt, needing the temporary refuge it provided. After a few minutes, she pulled away from him and scrubbed at her eyes. "I'm sorry. It seems like all I've been doing lately is crying at people." 

"Don't apologize." Duo leaned down to kiss her mouth lightly, then rested his chin on the top of her head. When he felt her relax into his arms, he asked, "There was a shot?" 

Relena took a deep breath before answering, "Yes. The cab arrived, and I heard a gunshot." 

Duo gave her a quick squeeze, then slipped out from underneath her and walked to his desk. Relena watched from the couch as he typed on a keyboard embedded in the desktop. She could see several windows pop up in the monitor set on the corner of the desk. Eventually, Quatre's face filled the screen. "You've reached Quatre," the image said. "Unfortunately, I'm not available at the moment. Please leave a message and I will return your call. Thank you." 

Duo punched in a few more keys. The image froze for a moment, then another image of Quatre popped up. "Please enter your personal security code." 

With a few more keystrokes, Quatre's image resumed speaking. "Hi guys! I know you're looking for me, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm not here. I'll be on Earth for the next few weeks, spending some time in Paris. I hope to see Relena while I'm there, but we'll see what her schedule permits. Uh, Nasira's playing baby-sitter this time, so give her a call if you really need to find me. Otherwise, leave a message after the tone." 

"Hey, Q-man, you know who this is. Call when you get a chance." Duo severed the connection and typed some more. 

"Wouldn't his secretary keep his schedule?" Relena asked. 

Duo shook his head. "His secretary knows where he's supposed to be. Nasira's his sister. She knows where he actually is." After a moment, a pale woman with bright blond hair and dark brown eyes that seemed filled with unexpressed emotion appeared on-screen. 

"May I help you?" The cultured, feminine tones immediately confirmed the woman as a Winner. 

"Nasira Winner?" 

"Yes, I am she." She peered into the vid screen. "And you are..." 

"Duo Maxwell." 

The woman turned from the vid screen to type something into a off-camera keyboard. She stared in that direction for a while, presumably at a screen, before turning back to Duo. "I'm supposed to ask you for a number." 

"02." 

Nasira smiled. "Yes, Duo Maxwell. Quatre speaks of you often. How can I help you?" 

Duo gave her a lazy grin. "Well, I'm looking for Quatre. His comm said that you were keeping his schedule this time around." 

"Let me see." Nasira turned to the invisible computer again and typed. "He's working out of Paris for the next few weeks... hmm, that's odd." The typing ceased. 

"Something wrong?" 

"No, not exactly. It appears Quatre has cleared his schedule through the end of next week." 

Duo's face became serious. "So where is he?" 

"I'm checking..." The typing resumed. "He didn't leave specific details, though he did mention he would be checking his messages." 

"Nothing else?" 

"No, but I can give him a message if he calls here. Is there anything you'd like me to tell him?" 

Duo considered. "Just let him know that Duo's looking for him. He'll know how to reach me." 

"All right." Nasira and Duo said their goodbyes, then Duo was typing again. 

"Now what are you doing?" Relena asked. 

"Calling Wufei." 

As he spoke, Wufei picked up the other end of the call. "Maxwell. What did I do to deserve this?" 

"We have a situation." 

"Explain." 

Duo leaned back in his chair, interlacing his fingers behind his head and crossing a slender ankle over his knee, and gave Wufei a quick summary of events. As Duo spoke, several expressions flitted over Wufei's face, too quickly to interpret, then his mouth settled into a grim frown. "I'm in Old New York. I can be in Paris in 3 hours." 

"No." 

Wufei arched an eyebrow. 

"I want to send Relena to you. I'll find Quatre." 

"Duo, no!" Duo glanced at Relena as she sat up. "I— I'm responsible for— for whatever happened. I can't keep running from Heero, and—" 

Wufei's other eyebrow rose as he heard Relena's voice. "You have her?" 

Duo ignored Wufei's underlying question and answered Relena. "You can and will keep running from Heero until he calms down." 

"No. I can't," she replied just as coldly. 

Duo turned in the chair, his jaw tensed. "You realize what you're saying? You want to go to Earth to face down a fully-trained Gundam pilot?" 

"I don't intend to attack him. I intend to reason with him." 

Duo snorted. "Reason with Heero when he's on a mission? I don't think so." 

"Whatever decision you reach," Wufei said quietly, "I recommend you make it quickly. If I understand the... situation correctly, Heero's next logical destination will be L-2." 

"He's right," Duo said. "You can't stay here." 

Relena took a deep breath. Then she took another. 

"Relena—" 

"I'm going with you." Relena met the rapidly-darkening violet-blue eyes, steel in her tone. "Stop worrying about Heero. We don't know if he's with Quatre. For all we know, he could have killed Quatre and hidden his body somewhere." 

"She may be right," Wufei said. "Yuy is capable—" 

With a growl, Duo turned and hit a button on his keyboard, cutting off Wufei's voice, then returned his gaze to Relena. The look of icy rage on the braided man's face went beyond the famed death glare. 

Shinigami was pissed. 

Relena swallowed. "I don't like it either, but it is possible." 

Duo closed his eyes and just breathed for a while. She could see his neck muscles tensing, then releasing that tension. When he finally opened his eyes, he knelt before Relena, placing his hands on her knees. "Relena..." His eyes pleaded with her. "Please trust me on this one. Stay with Wufei. I'll deal with Heero." 

Relena looked away from the puppy-dog expression Duo was making at her. It would be so easy to sit back, let the boys take care of her, not worry about a thing... but it wouldn't be right. //Why should they have to clean up a mess I created? I can't let hem do that. I won't let them do that.// 

"Why would he listen to you?" she asked. 

Duo looked down at his hands. She felt their grip tighten around her knees. "I don't plan to talk to him." 

Her eyes widened as she realized what he meant. "You're not going to kill him." 

The American froze, not even breathing, then stood and walked to one of the windows, looking out with his arms crossed. Relena pressed her lips together, waiting silently for Duo to turn around. 

When he did move, he strode back to the vid, where Wufei was waiting patiently. He pressed a few keys. "I will escort Relena to you in Old New York. ETA 8 hours. I'll keep you posted." He severed the connection, then left the room, slamming the door behind him. Relena stared blankly at the closed office door long after he had gone. 

~owari Chapter 5~   
  



	6. Chapter 6

Never Let You Go part 6 Warnings: angst, 1xR, 2xR, Rx?, potentially bastardized Heero and/or Relena, light lime in later chapters, 4+3/3+4 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this,   
you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Notes: As always, thanks for all the support and feedback! 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at   
quelirain@yahoo.com.   
  
  
  


Never Let You Go   
Chapter 6   
by quelirain 

  


_What I need is a good defense _   
_'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal _   
_And I need to be redeemed _   
_To the one I've sinned against _   
_Because he's all I ever knew of love _   
_ --Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

Duo was packed in fifteen minutes, and they were at the airport in twenty. Through some well-practiced hacking, Duo had managed to get seats for them--first class, no less--on the next shuttle leaving the colony. It was even a direct flight to New York. 

The ease of their trip only underlined the tension that had grown between them since getting off the phone with Wufei. 

Relena looked out the window, occasionally glancing at her silent lover and friend. She always had a hard time leaving L-2, but Duo's jokes of borderline taste, tempered by the occasional longing look, helped her get on the shuttle every time. But this time, there had been no lighthearted comments or subtle squeezes to distract her. There had been nothing but the unfamiliar silence since they'd left the orphanage. 

Duo's breathed evenly as he sat next to her, his eyes lightly closed and head slung back against the headrest. His braid was tucked loosely behind him, exposing the slender neck she'd kissed many a time. She could see the spot where if she pressed her lips against it, then ran her tongue over it just so-- 

"Don't." 

Relena froze with her back angled forward and twisted slightly for the optimum angle of attack on Duo's neck. "What's wrong?" she asked lightly. 

"Something's wrong?" 

The words were indifferent in tone yet icy in nature. Smoothing the creases in her jeans, she leaned back against the seat, keeping her eyes on him. "You haven't said a word to me since we left the church. What's wrong? What did I do?" 

He opened his eyes at that, the violet-blue orbs dark with something she couldn't quite place. "You should get some rest; it's been a long day." 

"Talk to me." She placed her hand over his and squeezed lightly. 

He closed his eyes again. "Just go to sleep, okay?" 

"No." 

"I don't want you passing out. We have enough to worry about as it is." 

"No." 

"Relena." His voice was low and toneless. "Stop." 

Slowly, she released his hand and leaned back into the seat, closing her eyes. Her hands balled into little fists as she pressed her nails into her palms in an attempt to fight the knot tightening in her throat. 

A small sigh came from the seat next to her. She felt the armrest that separated their seats lift, then agile fingers reached around to unbuckle her safety belt. He turned her so that she was sitting sideways in his lap, leaning her cheek against his chest. Duo pulled her close, wrapping strong arms around her waist in a wordless apology. She felt his chest rise and fall steeply and his heart slow its steady rhythm. "What is it, Duo?" 

"Are you all right with this?" His grip tightened around her. "With us, being together, I mean." 

She blinked. "I... I'm fine with us," she said. "Why do you ask?" 

"Next time you see Heero, you could tell him that we weren't sleeping together and that it's all been a big misunderstanding. He'd believe you. Should I expect you to do that?" 

She suddenly wanted to squirm out of Duo's hold, but she didn't try. "Do you want me to tell Heero it was all a big misunderstanding?" 

"Do you want to?" 

She felt that urge to shift again and firmly squashed it. 

"If this was nothing more than a diversion, then fine. I can live with that. But tell me now." 

She couldn't move, couldn't place the tone of his voice, couldn't see his face. Not that seeing his face would help her; she was sure his visage was as shuttered as Heero's. 

Thankfully, Duo didn't seem to want an answer, because he continued speaking softly. "When you're gone, I ask myself why I keep doing this when I know that you're involved with one of my good friends. And then you'd take a weekend with me on L-2, and I'd wake up in the morning beside you and know." He rested his chin lightly on the top of her head. "I care about Heero. But he's hurt--" He cut himself off. "I can't just let that go. I have to do something. You know that, don't you?". 

This time she gave into the impulse to twist in his arms, but he held her where she was. "Duo..." 

"No squirming," he whispered in her ear. "Not in public." 

"But--" 

"Later, Relena. Rest." 

//Why didn't he just give me a shot of adrenline? Like I'll be able to sleep.// She exacted her revenge with a snuggle back into his arms and a slight swivel that elicted an indrawn breath and a gentle kiss on the top of her head. 

"Stop fidgeting and rest." 

Obediently, she closed her eyes, but opened them immediately. "Duo?" 

"Yes?" The answer was quick, too quick for him to have been resting. 

"We should contact Trowa as soon as we reach Earth." She turned her head to press her cheek into Duo's soft shirt. 

"Hmmm... why?" 

"I think he'd like to know what's going on. Maybe he could help." 

"Maybe, though I'm sure he's busy with the circus and all." Duo shifted slightly underneath her, reclining them further. 

"Quatre carries a picture of Trowa in his wallet," Relena said. 

She could feel Duo's chest heave with supressed laughter. "Oh, does he now?" 

"He does. And I bet that Trowa has a picture of Quatre somewhere on his person at all times." 

Duo snorted. "Quatre's always carried a picture of Trowa, even during the war. Said it reminded him what we were fighting for. I'll bet he's had that photo since then." 

"No, he's older in this one." 

"Let me see." Relena felt Duo's hand wander down her back and reach into her hip pocket, but it didn't linger there. He sorted through the wallet, finding everything she'd seen, then it pressed into a hidden fold and extracted a much-worn picture of a much-younger Trowa. Duo held it up in front of her. "This is the photograph I was thinking of, though the newer one is nice too." He replaced the picture where it had come from and handed the wallet back to Relena. "And a tip from an old thief--don't keep your wallet in your back pocket. Too easy to steal." 

"You should keep it, Duo. It would probably be safer with you." 

"No, you hang onto it." In one swift move, Duo dropped the wallet down Relena's shirt, adjusting it to sit between the strap and her chest, just above the swell of her breast. "See? Much safer. If anyone goes for it there, you can deck them without remorse." 

She laughed. "I'm a pacifist, remember?" 

"Fine. I'll do the decking. Or Milliardo will." Duo's tone turned serious. "I called him before we left. He was relieved to hear that you were all right." 

"Did you tell him we were headed back to Earth?" 

"No, it wasn't a secure line. I had to be pretty vague. Luckily, he recognized my voice." Duo chuckled again. "I got to pretend to be a nurse." 

"A nurse?" 

"Milliardo told the press that you've come down with mono. It'll keep us in the clear for the next couple weeks." Relena laughed. "What, what's so funny?" 

Relena covered her mouth with her hands until the worst of her giggles had passed. "Well, it beats that other rumor." 

"What rumor?" 

Relena sat up just enough to see Duo's face. "That I'm pregnant." 

The terrorist formerly known as Shinigami went deathly pale. Relena buried her face in his shirt, muffling her laughter next to his rapidly beating heart. 

~owari Chapter 6~   
[][1]

   [1]: ../../../site/Main.html



	7. Chapter 7

Never Let You Go part 7 Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this,   
you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Notes: Hmm, next chapter... hopefully I'll be able to get it up next week... or early May... I hate finals... -_-;; 

Feedback: C&C always welcome. Post here, or you can e-mail me at quelirain@yahoo.com.   
  
  


Never Let You Go   
Chapter 7   
by quelirain 

  


_Heaven help me for the way I am_   
_Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done_

_--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

They arrived on Earth without incident. Wufei was waiting for them in the lounge outside the gate. "Let's go." 

"What, no 'how are you, glad to see you again, it's been a while, whatcha been up to?' " Duo replied as he and Relena followed Wufei through the shuttle port. A black four-door sedan idled out front with tinted windows and a patiently-waiting driver. "The perks of government work," Duo noted wistfully. 

"Sometime you'll have to travel with me. Diplomatic arrivals are outrageous," Relena replied, striding briskly to keep up with Wufei. 

Duo's hand slid out to squeeze hers. She looked up in surprise and caught Duo's soft smile before he turned away. He seemed so happy that she'd included him in her future plans. //Such a little thing...// 

They'd almost reached the car when someone shouted, "Vice Minister Peacecraft!" Instinctively, Relena turned, but Wufei threw open the car door and shoved her into the front seat. Through the tinted windows--which, she suspected, were also one-way and bullet-proof--she could see Duo and Wufei sprinting after whoever it was who had called her. 

A few minutes later, the back door opened and four people squeezed inside. Wufei slammed the door shut and barked, "Drive." 

The Preventer behind the wheel locked the doors without being told, then calmly wove through the local traffic onto the highway. Curious, Relena turned to see who exactly was in the backseat, but Wufei caught the motion before she could get a good look. 

"Face forward," Wufei ordered in a tone just slightly kinder than the one he'd used with the driver. "Keep quiet." 

"And put your seatbelt on," Duo added. 

Relena pressed her lips together, but obeyed. 

"The camera," Wufei demanded. 

"It doesn't matter," a feminine voice said coolly. "You can't erase our memories." 

"Can't we?" Wufei asked. "I know many ways to help people forget what they've seen... perhaps you'd like me to demonstrate?" 

"We know who you are, Chang Wufei. I recognized you when I first saw you in the shuttle port. I assume that this is the infamous Duo Maxwell of the Maxwell Orphanage," the female said. "And admittedly, it took me a moment to recognize her, but who could forget the unmistakable Relena Peacecraft?" 

"You can and will," Wufei replied. 

"Wait." Duo's voice was tight. "The signal was already transmitted. They have it." 

"Live?" Wufei asked. 

"No," the woman said. "It wasn't live. But it will definitely be featured on someone's next broadcast." 

"Names." Wufei's demanding tone made it clear that he expected an immediate and full answer. A more timid person would   
probably offer her age, birthdate, and weight in a hope to avoid the implicit threat of violence against her person, but the reporter hesitated. 

"*Now.*" 

Finally, the woman replied, "Roshelle O'Connor. My camera operator is Mike Drexel. We're from the National News   
Service." 

Relena flinched. The NNS was not really a station; it was a news wire that other stations rebroadcast. She'd dealt with reporters from the service often and found them professional enough, though she wasn't familiar with this one. 

"You and Mr. Drexel will remain with us." Wufei's tone boded no arguments. 

The woman cleared her throat. "As long as we're all here, I'd like to ask a few questions. How is your health, Miss Peacecraft? Your brother informed us just yesterday that you have mononucleiousis. I'm surprised to see you're feeling well enough to travel--" 

"I suggest you be concerned about your own health," Duo said warmly. Relena was sure he was grinning broadly. "But by all means, if you enjoy feeling unwell, continue." 

The woman snorted. "You wouldn't dare do anything to us. Preventer Chang would most certainly lose his job, and you, Mr. Maxwell, are a private citizen and subject to the law." 

Relena bit her lip and tried not to laugh. The woman was gutsy, if overconfident. Not many people dared interfere with Wufei; he was as well-known for his dedication to justice as he was for his temper. Of course, the reporter--Roshelle--thought she was dealing with a normal Preventer and a guy who ran an orphanage, not two of the most lethal men in the Earth Sphere. And even though both Wufei and Duo were handsome, they certainly looked young and lithe to the untrained eye. 

"Not everything leaves tell-tale evidence," Duo replied conversationally. "And anything can be made to look like an unfortunate accident." 

Relena wished she could warn the reporter just what she was getting into, but another part of her smiled and waited for the other shoe to drop. 

"Preventer Chang, why are Preventers' resources involved in the transportation of Relena Peacecraft? Miss Peacecraft has her own security detail, lead by Heero Yuy, her fiance and clearly one of the best bodyguards in the business." 

"The best bodyguard in the business," Duo corrected. "And I don't think you're listening to what we're telling you--you're not going to get any answers to your questions, so stop wasting air." 

"Which leads me to my next question--why are you, Mr. Maxwell, a private citizen, involved in what appears to be an official transport--" There was a small gasp, then the woman cried out in pain. "How--" 

"The magic that is acupressure," Duo explained. "Preventer Chang is a man of many talents. I advise you to refrain from further questions." 

"Are you threatening us, Mr. Maxwell? Or is Preventer Chang detaining us?" Roshelle replied smartly. "Neither is really legal." 

"Would you like to be arrested for interfering with official Preventers' business?" Duo asked. 

The woman clicked her tongue. "But that would mean Preventer Chang would have to do what he's doing in the public eye instead of behind its back." 

Wufei made a noise in the back of his throat that, Relena imagined, sounded like a dragon just before it roasted its victim to a crisp with fiery breath. Roshelle took the hint and stopped talking. 

Silence reigned until they reached a nondescript brick building on the outskirts of the city. With a harsh, "Stay here," Duo yanked the reporter out of the car, leaving Wufei to assist the cameraman. They entered the building. A few moments later, Duo returned for Relena. He was wearing his manic grin, and his eyes were glittering. 

"What did you do with them?" she asked. 

"They're a little tied up at the moment. Wufei's handling them." The car pulled away as Duo led the way inside the building and into a freight elevator. 

"What about Quatre? Hasn't anyone noticed he's missing?" 

"Nasira will make up something." They reached the third floor of the building. Duo pulled aside the grate of the elevator and led Relena to leftmost door at the end of the dark hallway. "It's a bedroom," he said. "It's not much, but you didn't sleep on the flight, and you need to rest." 

"I'm fine." 

Duo opened the door for Relena. "You need to rest." 

"Someone needs to talk to Trowa," she replied stubbornly. 

"I'll take care of it." 

"Am I just supposed to lie here and sleep while you two go look for Quatre?" she snapped. "I made this mess, and I'll be damned if I just hand it over to someone else to clean up!" 

Patiently, Duo repeated, "You need to rest." 

This time, she looked at Duo with her own interpretation of the pleading gaze that Duo had perfected. "Please, Duo. If something's happened to Quatre, it's my fault." 

Duo swept her into his arms and hugged her fiercely, followed with a kiss that left her breathless. "Quatre is *fine*. We *will* find him, Relena. Don't you dare believe anything else." 

She leaned her head on his shoulder, breathing deeply. "Just let me talk to Trowa. If it is as it seems between them... I'm still responsible. I should never have involved Quatre in this. I shouldn't have involved any of you." 

"Do you really think I'm all that susceptible to female charms?" She looked up at him, wide-eyed. "I chose to be here. Quatre would have done the same thing." 

Relena raised her eyebrows. 

"Okay, well, maybe not the *exact* same thing, but you get my point." He winked. "Come on. We'll call Trowa, then you're going to bed." 

"Thank you." 

~owari Chapter 7~   
[][1]

   [1]: ../../../site/Main.html



	8. Chapter 8

Never Let You Go part 8 Warnings: angst, 1xR, 2xR, Rx?, 4+3/3+4 implied, light lime in later chapters, one word of very mild language in this chapter. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this,   
you know the routine. 

Spoilers: There are a few, but nothing really noticeable unless you've already seen the spoiled parts. 

Notes: Thank you all for the encouraging feedback! ^_^ 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at   
quelirain@yahoo.com.   
  
  
  


Never Let You Go   
Chapter 8   
by quelirain 

  


_Heaven help me for the way I am _   
_Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done_

_--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

The room directly across the hall from the makeshift bedroom had been set up as a sort of headquarters. Two laptops, hooked up to three CPU's, sat on a wooden table in the center of the room. On a side table, against a wall, there were various clips and weaponry. 

"Probably categorized by size, style, and function," Duo said, noting the direction of Relena's gaze. "Wufei's a definite type A." 

A small doorway led into a kitchenette, and Relena heard her stomach growl. So did Duo. He smiled. "There's nothing in there. I looked already. I'll have to remind Fei we will need to eat at some point, not to mention get you some clothes... Milliardo would send your entire wardrobe, but that might have been a little suspicious." He winked, then sat in front of the computer and dialed. Relena stood behind him, watching, her fingers wrapped tightly around the back of the chair. She'd known this call was coming, but that did nothing to ease her anxiety. 

"You know, there's no guarantee he'll be there," Duo said quietly. 

Relena closed her eyes and forced herself to release the death-grip she had on the chair. Duo was right, of course. Trowa wouldn't be sitting idly by the vidphone waiting for their call. Still, Relena's stomach churned as Trowa's face appeared on the screen. 

"Please leave a message." 

A message. They could leave a message, and that way she wouldn't have to tell Trowa face to face what had happened. She opened her mouth, eager to speak, but Duo cut off the sentence he hadn't known she was starting. 

"Never a man for many words, eh, Trowa? Call me. Soon. You have the number." 

Relena flushed as she realized what she'd been about to do. //Duo's right, of course. This isn't the sort of thing you leave on an answering machine.// 

Duo disconnected, then turned with a smile on his face which quickly froze there as he saw Relena's reddened cheeks. His eyes filled with resigned disappointment as he said, "All right, it's bedtime for you." 

Relena turned away from those big violet-blue eyes. "He'll call back soon. I-- I want to be here when you talk to him," Relena said. 

She snuck a quick look at Duo's face after she finished the sentence. Duo's eyes were flat and unreadable as he shrugged. "He's probably won't be in for a while. You can still get some rest." Duo stood, then took Relena's hand and pulled her toward the door. Relena refused to move. 

"I have to wait for Trowa to call." 

Duo rolled his eyes, but Relena noted that a little sparkle had returned to them. "Fine. If you can tell me the last time you slept, then you can stay up." 

Relena tried to concentrate so she could calculate intercolony time changes, hours spent travelling, and bedtimes, but her tired brain refused to cooperate. She sighed, but relented, allowing Duo to lead her to the small bedroom. "Wake me when Trowa calls?" 

"Relena..." 

She opened her eyes wide, her exhaustion making her eyes water. Duo laid a hand against her cheek, his thumb catching one of the escaped tears. "No, Relena, don't look like that... you're tired." 

She blinked twice, moisture attaching to her lashes as she continued to gaze at him with big blue eyes. "Promise?" 

Duo opened his mouth, but took one look at her eyes and closed it again, a smile playing on his lips. Gently, he pushed her onto the bed. She sat there, staring at her hands folded in her lap. Duo patted her head. "This just confirms what I already knew. You're exhausted. A nap and a shower, and then some dinner... and maybe later, who knows what could happen...?" 

She looked up at Duo, the soft lines of his face leading to eyes that studied her tenderly. Kneeling, he removed her shoes, then swung her legs up onto the bed. Obediently, she lay back, though she protested when he tried to put her underneath the covers. 

"As you wish," he said lightly, then added, "Sleep well." 

She reached up with one hand to bring Duo down for a kiss. "You'll wake me when Trowa calls?" 

"Go to sleep." He tried to pull away, but she held on, her arms wrapped around his neck. He chuckled. "I would stay, but you'd fall asleep in the middle of things, and then what would I do?" 

She pulled him down again, kissing him thoroughly. "You don't think you could keep me awake?" Duo laughed. It was the opening she'd been waiting for. A few seconds later, she had a wriggling Duo pinned to the bed beneath her. "Promise." 

"Damn, woman, what has Heero been teaching you?" Duo blurted. 

Relena froze. Duo looked at her for a long moment before carefully guiding her to lay on her side in the bed, his arms around her. She curled up against him, letting the rhythm of his breathing soothe her to sleep. 

_//Violet eyes... she was lost in those violet eyes, wrapped in his chestnut hair, her arms around his neck... she tipped her head up to reach for his mouth with her own. She was safe at last._

_Soft lips met hers, moved gently over hers, then opened, seeking entrance. Relena willingly submitted, feeling heat rise in her body. "Duo..."_

_Suddenly Duo slumped forward, and Relena held his weight, her face wet, sticky with something. She looked down to her hands._

_Blood.//_

Heart pounding, she sat up in bed. 

A crack of light slipped in under the door, but it wasn't enough to see by. She groped blindly for Duo until someone flicked on the lights. Her eyes stung at the sudden change. Instinctively, she covered her eyes, blinking rapidly to help them adjust. As her vision returned, she looked toward the light panel and saw a distinctive bang and single green eye. "Trowa," she breathed. 

"Tell me what happened." 

Relena swallowed. "Trowa, I--" 

"Tell me what happened." His eye bore into her, demanding answers. 

"Just let me--" 

The click of the door closing marked his departure. She curled up in a tight ball on the bed as her stomach wrenched. Again. She'd screwed up again. 

Wufei's strident voice halted her self-depreciating thoughts. "It's 7:02 p.m. I am to feed you and give you clothing. Here." He tossed a duffel bag onto the bed. "Shower and change." He left the room without further comment. 

The knot in her stomach wound its way to her throat. It felt like it would strangle her slowly. She wanted to cry out to Wufei that she was sorry, that she was really, truly sorry for all the trouble she'd caused. He would probably call her a weak, stupid woman, and for once, he would be right. 

She buried her fingers in her soft feather pillow until she could feel her fingernails pressing into the palms of her hands. She pulled the pillow to her midsection, wrapping herself around it in the cold, empty bed, shaking. 

"Relena." 

The voice came from the doorway. It wasn't Duo and she doubted it was Trowa, leaving Wufei to see her in the weakness that she rarely exposed. She didn't move. There was no reason to move. She could only make things difficult and hurt more people, and she was tired of being the cause of everything. 

"Relena." The voice was just above her this time. She moaned into the pillow she strangled against her. 

The feel of a warm hand brushing back her bangs made her crack open her eyes, squinting against the rectangular beam of light that came through the slightly opened door. It was Wufei who stood above her, several strands of hair falling forward into dark eyes that looked down on her, not with the contempt she expected, but a flat neutrality that made her feel worse than before. She curled away from him. 

"Be weak now, when you can afford weakness, that you may be strong later when strength is required." 

The simplicity of the statement stabbed her. She smashed her eyes closed and bawled, crushing the pillow between her thighs and her stomach. She wept until her head ached, the pillow was soaked, and the delicate skin around her eyes was raw. And when she was done, her eyes burning and red, she felt a warm blanket being pulled up to the crease where her shoulder met her neck. It was tucked around her carefully, as if packing a piece of fine china. 

"Now, sleep." 

She lay, unmoving, as the blackness of exhaustion took her. 


	9. Chapter 9

Never Let You Go Chapter 9

Warnings: angst, 1xR, 2xR, Rx?, 3+4/4+3 implied. Mild, infrequent language, light lime in later chapters.

  
Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this,   
you know the routine. 

Spoilers: None this chapter. 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at   
insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 9   
by quelirain   


_I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand_   
_but I keep living this day like the next will never come_

_--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

When Relena awoke, the room was dark save the sliver of light that cut in under the door. She couldn't open her eyes for the crust that had formed on her lashes. Rubbing gingerly, she removed enough of the yellowing crumbs to open her right eye. The pillow was still pulled against her, a surrogate teddy bear pressing the warmed metal of Duo's cross into her skin. 

//Duo.// 

She wanted to call for him, but she didn't trust her voice. Instead, she lay in the darkness, clutching the cover to her. It was soft, fuzzy, like the teddy bear she still had from all those years ago, the one Heero had given her. 

//Heero.// 

Duo would have been at her side had he been in the building. He would have climbed into bed and held her as she slept, so she wouldn't wake up alone. 

Heero would have been long gone by the time she arose. He would have respected her need to feign stability while her emotional world rocked. He understood that one misspoken word could wreak havoc, and he would have given her the time to piece together her mask. Yet he also knew when she couldn't perform up to standard. Those were the times when Heero became tender. Those were the times that she knew, without doubts, that Heero cared for her. That he loved her. 

Duo would have kissed her tears away and soothed her shame. He'd done it before. He eased her soul. 

But Heero understood her. 

And Heero _loved_ her. 

//But Duo...?// 

Relena jumped onto her feet and ran for the shower. Hot water, a long shampoo, and delicately scented soap would batter down the whispers in her brain. She was about to step into the shower before she remembered to remove Duo's cross. She unclasped the jewerly and, after opening the door a crack, threw the cross on the floor outside the bathroom. 

The hot water of the shower made her feel more normal, washing away the redness in her eyes. After turning off the water, she scrubbed her body with a towel, then gooped cool lotion on her damp skin. She reconstructed her color-coordinated outer shell with the contents of the bag Wufei had left in the room. All the clothing fit, right down to the bra and panties. A call to Milliardo would have provided sizes and styles, but which of the pilots had actually gone and acquired the items? The image of any of them rummaging through lingerie made her smile. 

She brushed out her hair and twisted it into a loose, damp bun, then returned to the bed to retrieve her shoes. Her stomach growled as she reached underneath the bed. She patted her neck absent-mindedly when Duo's cross didn't swing free of her shirt. She thought for a moment, then glanced at the floor in front of the bathroom. 

No cross. 

A chill settled in her heart. She crawled across the floor, examing every inch of the wood outside the bathroom. Nothing. 

//I threw it out of the bathroom... it should be on the floor somewhere.// 

She looked underneath the bed and the dresser, although she knew there was no logical way she'd tossed it that far. 

"It's on the dresser." 

Relena turned to see Wufei in the doorway. She stood. 

"You left it on the floor. I moved it," Wufei continued flatly. 

Relena swallowed. "Thank you." She walked to the dresser and saw the cross, its chain meticulosly folded underneath the metal crucifix on the end. She clasped the chain around her neck quickly, so that her hands wouldn't have time to shake. "What time is it?" 

There was no answer. She looked up. Wufei was gone. 

Crossing the hallway, she entered the dining area, where the computers and weapons had been stored when she first came in. The table was set for two and the smell of simmering seasonings filled the room, but Wufei was nowhere to be seen. 

//Maybe he's feeding the reporters?// 

Relena left the room and padded down the hall, pausing at each doorway to listen for sounds of conversation. Hearing none, she headed back to the kitchen. Wufei was setting a pot of rice on the table as she entered. "Sit," he commanded. 

Relena sat. Her stomach churned, though she wasn't sure if it was a reminder that she hadn't eaten or a symptom of the growing tension within her. 

Wufei left for the kitchen, and when he returned, he was carrying a sizzling wok. He set it on the table before spooning a pile of seasoned vegetables onto her plate. The aroma floated into her nose and straight to her complaining stomach. 

"This smells wonderful, Wufei. I didn't know you could cook," she blurted. 

Wufei eyed her levelly before pouring water into Relena's glass from the water pitcher on the table. "I was thoroughly trained to survive on my own." He sat in a third chair instead of at the other place setting. Relena looked at him inquisitively as she chewed. 

"For Trowa." Wufei crossed his arms and leaned into the straight back of the chair. 

Hurriedly, Relena swallowed. "Where is he now?" 

"Feeding the reporters." He paused and looked at her. She stared down at her plate. He continued to speak. "Duo is out." 

Relena reached for her water to cover her chagrin. //I didn't think Wufei was capable of subtle barbs... he's learned a lot at the Preventers.// 

"Eat." 

She obeyed, cleaning her plate before Trowa entered the room. He held two empty plates, which he took directly to the kitchen, not stopping to look at the two sitting at the table. Relena heard water running, then Trowa returned to where she and Wufei were sitting. He glanced at her, then at Wufei. 

"Thank you." 

Wufei just nodded. 

Trowa ate with quiet efficiency. Relena sipped her water. Wufei appeared to be dozing in the stiff wooden chair. His arms were crossed and his eyes were closed. Yet somehow he knew when the meal was over, because he rose as Trowa finished eating. 

Trowa and Relena both stood with their plates, but Wufei took the dirty dishes from their hands. "Sit. Talk." Wufei shot a meaningful look at Trowa, then left for the kitchen. He returned once more for the cooking appliances, then left the two there, each with a glass of water and the three-quarters full pitcher of the same. 

Relena swallowed. 

Trowa sat back in the chair, its pale wood creaking under his slight weight, his eye an impervious emerald circle with a single dark hole in the middle. It watched her with a cyclopic intensity. Relena swore Trowa wasn't even breathing, his gaze was so level. She swallowed again, then met that single, unflinching eye with both of hers. "I'm sorry, Trowa." 

The gaze yielded for a moment, only to be replaced by a neutral coolness. "For what?" 

Gathering her courage, she replied, "Quatre." Now his gaze faltered and fell to the glass of water in front of him. "I shouldn't have involved him. It's enough that Duo insists upon dragging Wufei into this, but you shouldn't have to be here." Relena looked down too, idly wiping the condensation from the outside of her water glass. "I am sorry." 

The intensity returned to Trowa's studious gaze, but this time it wasn't directed at Relena. He opened his mouth as if to respond, but he was cut off by a shout from the hallway. 

"Chang! We have a problem." 

Relena raised her head in time to see a long brown braid whip past her on its way to the kitchen. 

~owari chapter 9~


	10. Chapter 10

Warnings: angst, 1xR, 2xR, Rx?, 3+4/4+3 implied. Mild, infrequent language, light lime in later chapters. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this,   
you know the routine. 

Spoilers: None this chapter. 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at   
insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

//blah// thoughts   
blah>> electronics 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 10   
by quelirain 

  


_Oh help me but don't tell me to deny it _   
_I've got to cleanse myself of all these lies 'till I'm good enough for him _   
_I've got a lot to lose and I'm bettin' high so I'm begging you _   
_Before it ends just tell me where to begin _ _--Fiona Apple, "Criminal" _

__   


Relena raised her head in time to see Duo slam through the kitchen door, then return to the table in the dining room. He plunked his laptop in front of him. Wufei appeared, drying his hands on a towel. 

"What's going on?" Relena asked. 

"I was too late." Duo popped a disk into his computer, then turned it so that everyone could see the video. 

...has obtained live videotape confirming that Vice Foreign Minister Relena Peacecraft was sighted at the New York Spaceport...>> 

"K'so," Wufei muttered. 

"We should have just shot the reporters on sight," Duo grumbled. "It would have provided a hell of a distraction." 

As seen in the tape,>> the anchor continued, the Vice Minister was escorted by two unidentified men, one in a Preventers uniform. We have not been able to identify the Vice Minister's companions at this time.>> The video playback was replaced with the face of the perfectly polished anchor. Both the Office of the Vice Minister and the Preventers have declined to comment on the situation...>> 

"Quick work," Trowa commented. 

"After seeing that, I contacted Milliardo," Duo said. "He said there would be a press conference at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning.   
He'll talk to Lady Une tonight. I have no idea what they're going to say about this." Duo turned to Wufei. "Did you even   
tell Une that you were with Relena?" 

Wufei frowned. "Une is aware of the situation, although I will contact her in light of recent events." 

Relena rested her head in her hands. "You know, why don't you just let me stand out on a rooftop somewhere and yell for Heero? It worked well enough during the war." 

Trowa and Wufei looked at each other as if considering her idea, but Duo glared at them. Once he was certain that the message had been understood, he returned his attention the the laptop in front of him. "No. Snipers." 

A muffled snicker came from somewhere. Reflexively, Relena looked up to see from whom the sound had come but instead caught a side view of Duo's face. The normally tranquil violet eyes were alight with something unholy and wholly dangerous. His trademark grin had twisted into a manic grimace, his lips pressed together in a tight pink line that was reminscent of grapefruit pulp. 

With a rapid shuffle, Wufei and Trowa found that they had things to take care of in rooms other than the dining area. 

…no word yet from either the office of the Vice Foreign Minister or the Preventers. However, we have received confirmation from an anonymous source that neither Vice Minister Peacecraft nor her principal bodyguard, Heero Yuy, are at the Peacecraft home…>> 

"They distributed this all over the network." Duo's low growl was almost lost underneath the voice of the anchor. "I hate reporters." 

"You get used to it," Relena replied quietly. 

Could this be linked to the rumors of injuries at the Peacecraft estate?>> 

Relena turned the screen toward her. The same anchor from the video was questioning a young man standing outside the gates to Relena's home. 

Well, Linda, the estate has refused to comment on the situation. However, there are multiple eyewitnesses who say they saw an ambulance enter and leave the estate late Monday afternoon. Some of these questions should be resolved at tomorrow morning's press conference.>> 

Thank you, Ron.>> The anchor announced a commercial break. 

Silently, Relena rested her head in her hands, resisting the temptation to slam her forehead against the table. A few seconds   
later, she felt gentle hands on her shoulders, squeezing tense muscles tenderly. 

"How many?" she asked bitterly. "First the war, then the politics, then Heero—how many people's lives am I going to ruin?" 

Strong hands turned the chair, and she found herself looking down at Duo, her hands on her knees and his hands over hers.   
"Stop it. You can't blame yourself for what Heero or anyone else does. You'll go insane if you take responsibility for   
everything." 

She shook her head. "Even if it's my fault? Even if I helped create the crisis? Duo, I set myself up for this. I let it   
happen." 

"Shit happens. We need to focus on three things right now: keeping you safe, finding Quatre, and dealing with Heero. Beat yourself up over it later. We don't have time for that right now." Duo wiggled his eyebrows. "That is, unless you're into that sort   
of thing…" 

She couldn't help it. She smiled. Duo always made her smile. "Maybe later." 

"Promise?" 

Duo's laptop beeped, then a carefully gender-neutral voice said, Incoming call.>> 

"Well?" Duo asked, ignoring the computer. 

Relena blushed. "Shouldn't you answer that?" 

"Not until I get a straight answer from you." 

His eyes bore into her unflinchingly. She closed her eyes to escape them. "D-don't you want to see who it is?" she asked. 

"Look at me." She felt his hand on her chin, but she kept her eyes closed. "Open your eyes, Relena." 

She opened her eyes and saw him still squatting there, looking up at her, a smile on his face and a gleam in in his eye. "We're going to handle this, Relena. Trust me." 

The world blurred. She closed her eyes. Gentle lips pressed against her cheek, tasting the saltiness there, then pressed against   
each eyelid, then her forehead. 

The computer beeped again. You've reached Shinigami Central. Leave a message after the tone, or I'll hunt you down personally.>> 

"Duo, this is Quatre. Nasira said you called--" 

~owari chapter 10~   



	11. Chapter 11

Warnings: angst, some het, some yaoi, touch of het lime in later parts. 4+3/3+4 implied.   
Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: Nothing noticeable unless you've seen the parts I've given away. 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at quelirain@yahoo.com.   
  
Notes: Bless my beta reader, to whom I sent six chapters of this fic over three days! Amikins is very, very grateful!   


//blah// Relena's thoughts   
blah>> electronics 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 11   
by quelirain __

_What I need is a good defense _   
_'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal _   
_And I need to be redeemed _   
_To the one I've sinned against _ _--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

Duo's braid whipped across Relena's chest as he moved to the laptop. Relena scrubbed her eyes before swiveling to face the screen. "Quatre, I'm here," Duo said. "Wufei and I picked up Relena." 

"Trowa's here too," Relena added. 

Quatre pinkened slightly, then gave a single nod. Good.>> 

Quatre wore wide sunglasses that covered most of his face, as well as a baseball cap that sat precariously on disheveled hair.   
Only his head and shoulders were visible on the screen, but he was wearing a wrinkled white dress shirt. A brownish stain on one shoulder caught her attention. 

//Blood?// 

"Are you all right, man?" Duo asked. "Last we heard, you had a close encounter of the 01 kind." 

Quatre smiled slightly. Just get the others, okay? I don't have a lot of time.>> 

"Sure thing." Duo quickly disappeared. 

Quatre glanced behind him before studying Relena. Are you all right? You got out okay?>> he asked. 

"Yes, fine." Relena peered into the screen. "Are you all right?" 

Quatre nodded once, stiffly. Fine.>> He glanced behind him again. Where are they?>> 

"Here." Duo entered the kitchen first, with Wufei and Trowa immediately behind him. "We're all here. Are you all right? Where   
the hell are you?" 

Quatre scanned the faces of his friends before replying. If you're thinking about sweeping in here and 'rescuing' me from   
Heero, it's not necessary. I'm fine.>> 

"You're with Heero?" Relena asked. "Where is he?" 

We left shortly after you did.>> Quatre glanced away from the screen before continuing. I... don't think it would be a   
good idea for you to see him just yet.>> 

"Is there a way we can contact you?" Trowa asked. 

The blonde's aqua eyes looked at Trowa for a moment, then he shook his head slowly. Better not. Heero specifically requested that I leave it alone.>> 

"Winner." Wufei scrutinized the screen. "You've been wounded." 

Quatre glanced at the rust stain on his shoulder. Oh, that. Barely a scratch. I've had worse.>> 

"Take off your glasses," Trowa said suddenly. 

I don't have time for this, Trowa. I'm fine.>> 

"Your motions are stiff and you keep looking behind you," Wufei stated. "Take off the glasses and cap, Winner. We already know you've been injured." 

Then it's not necessary-->> 

"Damnit, Quatre, just _do_ it!" The strangled sound of Trowa's voice alarmed Relena, and she turned to look at him. His face was pale, and his hands gripped the back of the chair Wufei had sat in at dinner so tightly that Relena thought the wood was bending under the unrelenting pressure. 

Quatre hesistated, but took off the glasses. 

The first thing Relena noted was the tenderness in Quatre's blue eyes as he looked at Trowa. The second thing she noticed were the fading purple and green bruises that began just under the dark circles around Quatre's left eye. Raising his arm stiffly, he removed the cap to reveal a healing cut and surrounding bruise on his temple. 

The chair cracked under Trowa's hands. 

Trowa, listen, this isn't his fault-->> 

"Then whose?" Trowa replied. 

The other pilots were kind enough not answer that question aloud, although Relena knew they all had the answer. She knew it too. It would always, always come back to her. 

//I can't let this go on. I have to stop this. I'm the only one who can.// 

When Relena looked up again, the cap and sunglasses were back on. "Quatre," she said quietly. 

Quatre looked at her. Yes?>> 

"Where are you?" 

Relena, I won't tell you that.>> 

"Please, Quatre." 

Quatre hesistated, then shook his head. Things are still too delicate on this end.>> He glanced behind him. I have to go.>> 

Relena leaned closer to the screen. "At least tell me if Heero's all right." Four pairs of eyes settled on Relena. She felt the weight   
of their gazes, but only one mattered to her. 

He's been better,>> the blonde replied shortly. He looked at the others. I'll be in contact with Nasira over the next few   
days. Contact her if necessary.>> Quatre disconnected. 

A full silence descended upon the room. The slamming of the dining room door broke it. Relena looked up. Trowa was gone. 

Duo looked at the door, then began tapping at the keyboard. "He was patched through his corporation. New York branch. I'll keep digging. We'll leave as soon as I have something solid." 

Calmly, Wufei reached over Duo and hit the standby key on the laptop. 

"Hey!" Duo yelped. 

"Winner says wait. We wait," Wufei stated. 

Duo just looked at him. 

Reaching over Duo, Wufei tapped some keys, bringing up the replay of the call. He paused it just after Quatre took off his cap and glasses. "Those injuries are several days old. Nothing new has been inflicted since then." 

Finally, Duo nodded slowly. "All right, we wait. But if Quatre's wrong--" 

"He's not," Wufei said. "So we wait." 

*** 

Relena paced in the bedroom while Duo sprawled on the bed, tapping away on his laptop. His rhythmic keystrokes combined with her repetitive motion lulled her into a sort of trance as she paced. 

//I have to get to Heero before it's too late. I have to get to Heero... Heero.// 

"Relena." 

She didn't miss a step, nor did she answer. 

"Relena, stop." 

If anything, she walked faster. 

"Relena." Hands grabbed her arms from behind, then swung her around into strong arms. "Stop." 

She tensed, then leaned against him, closing her eyes and burrowing her face into his shirt. 

//Heero... how many more? How many more?// 

He didn't say anything, just rubbed her back with one hand and buried the other in the hair at the base of her skull while she   
pressed against him. A calloused hand lifted her face to meet those blue eyes, sometimes gray, sometimes purple, and then it   
didn't matter anymore as he lowered his head and kissed her, then worked his way around to her earlobe. 

//How much longer can we do this, Heero? It has to stop. Has to...// 

"I know a better way to pass the time," he growled on a note that vibrated through her very core. His hands moved lower, cupping her hips and pulling them forward, making it crystal clear just what his suggestion was to pass the time. 

//In your arms... everything is all right. Everything is always all right in your arms.// 

Relena swayed into him, wrapping her arms around him as he nibbled at the soft skin just beneath her ear, then soothed it with tender kisses. She let her head fall back, exposing more sensitive of her neck to his lips. His bangs tickled as they brushed across her heated skin and his lips met the small divot at the center of her neck where it met her collarbone. 

//Make it go away for a while... make it all right.// 

One of his hands slid upward, up her back and underneath her shirt, slipping under the back of her bra and staying there, pressing her forward against him. His other hand eased up to the small of her back, supporting her. 

"Mmmmm... Heero..." 

The hands froze, then carefully eased from underneath her shirt and settled on her shoulders. She opened her eyes to meet   
guarded violet ones, studying her from underneath chestnut bangs. 

//...violet, not blue... chestnut... not brown... Duo... not... Heero-- did I just-- oh, _shit_.// 

Her first instinct was to flee, but the weight of his hands on her shoulders forbade it. Her second impulse was to reassure, so she tried to press forward against him, but he kept her at a distance. When she finally dared to lift her head, she found his eyes   
weren't cold and shuttered as she'd expected. Instead, there was a strange sort of sympathy there, an understanding that, she   
realized, had been there all along. 

"At least I know where I stand, now," he said quietly. 

"Duo... I didn't--" 

"Yes, you did." 

"That's not--" 

Duo's lips pressed together, then twisted into a smile. "It's in your eyes. It was there this afternoon. It was there on the shuttle.   
It's been there every time you've been with me like this." He released her shoulders. "I'm done deluding myself, Relena." 

She closed her eyes. "Duo, I--" 

"Shh." He pressed his splayed fingers against her lips to enforce the command. "I'll find him for you." Leaning in, he kissed her   
forehead, then turned and left the room. 

~owari chapter 11~   
  



	12. Chapter 12

Warnings: angst, some het, some yaoi, touch of het lime in later parts. 4+3/3+4 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: Nothing noticeable unless you've seen the parts I've given away. 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Notes: Bless my beta reader, to whom I sent six chapters of this fic over three days! Amikins is very, very grateful! 

//blah// Relena's thoughts   
blah>> electronics 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 12   
by quelirain   


  


_Let me know the way_   
_Before there's hell to pay _   
_Give me room to lay the law and let me go_ _--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

Relena stared at herself in the mirror, her blue eyes brightened by the lights around the mirror. She studied her hair, her makeup, and her posture like she was an interesting bug. She certainly felt like a bug, though not as interesting as her intense gaze implied. She was a honey blonde, attractive by most standards. The woman in the mirror knew how to handle herself. She was the confident Queen of the World, Sovereign of the Sanq Kingdom, and now Vice Foreign Minister. 

Disgust filled the blue eyes as they gazed mercilessly into Relena's soul. Her titles had always protected her. Now they could not. 

It was refreshing. 

"Vice Minister." Relena looked up to see Roshelle standing behind her with a steaming cup of coffee. "Drink this. It's nearly time. I'm sending in makeup." 

Relena accepted the mug from the reporter. She took a sip of the bitter brew, then set it on the dressing room table so she could straighten the collar of the suit they'd arranged for her, shifting the chain of Duo's cross against her chest. 

//Duo...// 

_~After Duo left, Relena stood, numb. She'd probably lost the last good friend she had left, now. Heaven knew she deserved it. It couldn't have turned out any other way. //Something else to add to the 'things that are my fault' list... There has to be something I can do, some way to end this!//_

_Frustrated, she dropped onto the bed. //If there were some way I could just talk to Heero... I should never have let you send me away, Milliardo. I should have faced him down then and there.//_

_"Heero, come and kill me!" she whispered to the darkness.~_

"Miss Peacecraft?" A woman of medium height with dull brown hair and freckles peeked into the dressing room, snapping Relena from her thoughts. "I'm here for your makeup." 

"Come in." Relena turned in the chair so the woman could reach her face. The woman wrapped a white towel around her shoulders and chest before beginning her silent work. 

Escaping the building with Roshelle and the camera operator had been surprisingly easy. When Duo had slipped out, he hadn't taken the time to reset whatever alarms Wufei and Trowa had set up. The reporters had been eager to get out and were remarkably cooperative once Relena explained what she wanted. Even though it was well past midnight when they had left, Roshelle had roused one of the producers for her news service, and the producer was more than willing to make arrangements to pick them up once he heard about Relena's offer. 

Relena closed her eyes as a brush dusted powder over her forehead and nose. It was the same routine, every time. The sound operator would be here soon with a wireless mike to clip to her lapel. 

"Miss Peacecraft?" An older woman, this time, wires in one hand, battery pack and transmitter in another. "I'm here to wire you   
up." 

The makeup woman disappeared as the sound operator attached the microphone to her clothing. After she was done, Relena turned back to the mirror. The makeup woman was good. Relena looked as if she'd had a solid eight hours of sleep when she'd been lucky to have a fifteen minute nap in the car that had picked her and the reporters up. Her eyes were weary, but there was no help for that. Of the few people who would notice, only one would be watching. 

At least, she hoped so. 

//Mirror, mirror, on the wall... who's the most foolish of them all?// Doleful blue eyes looked back at her, confirming that it   
was, indeed, she. 

"Miss Peacecraft, we're ready for you now." 

Relena exhaled, then stood and strode confidently into the bright lights of the studio. Roshelle was waiting for her. 

"All right, Vice Minister," Roshelle began, "you know I have to ask you about the sighting at the airport and the aftermath, namely, my kidnapping and your involvement in that." 

Relena nodded. "I didn't expect anything less." 

Roshelle raised her eyebrows. "Good. Because it just gets sticker from there, as I'm sure you're aware. The rumors about your health, the injuries at the estate, the disappearance of Heero Yuy, not to mention your current responsibilities as vice minister... there's a lot to answer for." 

Relena looked down at her hands. She'd never worn an engagement ring, but now she wished she had one to fiddle with. Heero probably would have bugged it; then she wouldn't have to go through with this ugly charade. "Let's get this over with." She brushed past Roshelle and took her seat on the oversized stuffed chair that sat on the dias. Roshelle followed. 

"You are aware that the first broadcast will be live?" 

"Yes." 

"We've sent out alerts to our affiliates about this interview. Most stations will probably carry a portion of it live, if not the entire   
interview. We'll keep the cameras running for the full hour." Roshelle took her seat opposite Relena. A production assistant darted onto the dias to drop off two glasses of water. 

//How many people were pulled out of bed for this?// Relena mused. 

"Sound check, Miss Peacecraft." 

"Testing, 1, 2, 3--" 

"Thank you. Roshelle?" 

Roshelle repeated the phrase Relena used, then covered her mike with one hand. "Vice Minister, I know you're under tremendous stress right now, but I can't go easy on you." 

Relena met Roshelle's eyes. "Don't compromise your position just because you feel sorry for me. I am who I am. You do what you must." 

Roshelle smiled. "I don't mince words." 

"As I said, I wouldn't have it any other way." 

The floor director, looking rumpled but surprisingly awake considering her interrupted sleep, approached the dias. "Ladies, we   
go live in five minutes. Is there anything else you need?" 

Roshelle looked toward Relena, then shook her head. "No, Kami, I think we'll be just fine." 

"Great." The director darted onto the dias to adjust Relena's shirt to cover the Duo's cross. Relena looked at the woman, confused. "Too much glare," she explained. Then she shouted, "Clear the set! We go live in five, four, three--" 

~owari Chapter 12~ 


	13. Chapter 13

Warnings: angst, some het, some yaoi, touch of het lime in later parts. 4+3/3+4 implied.   
Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: Nothing noticeable unless you've seen the parts I've given away. 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com.   


//blah// Relena's thoughts   
blah>> electronics 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 13   
by quelirain 

  


_I've got to make a play_   
_To make my lover stay _   
_So what would an angel say the devil wants to know _ _--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

The floor director completed the countdown with her fingers, then pointed to Roshelle. She looked at the cameras and smiled as she read the teleprompter. 

"Good morning, I'm Roshelle O'Connor. 

"For the past two days, myself and another reporter from the National News Service were detained by a Preventer agent and two other men after sighting Vice Foreign Minister Relena Peacecraft at the Kennedy shuttle port in New York. We were taken from the shuttle port to an undisclosed location, where we were held, along with the Vice Minister, until early this morning, when she helped us escape. 

"The office of the Vice Minister announced four days ago that Miss Peacecraft had mononucleiosis, an illness that seriously impairs the energy level of its victims. Mononucleiosis can require up to two months or longer for a full recovery, so we were surprised to see the Vice Minister at the shuttle port in the company of Preventer Chang Wufei and Duo Maxwell, the head of the Maxwell Orphanage and School in the L-2 colony cluster. Once Preventer Chang and Mr. Maxwell realized the Vice Minister had been seen, they demanded that we accompany them and the Vice Minister to an undisclosed location. We   
did, and were held there until early this morning, when the Vice Minister came to us with a request: she would leave with us, if   
we would allow her the chance to clear up some of the rumors, old and new, surrounding her declining involvement in the day to day work of the ministry." Roshelle turned to face Relena. "Vice Minister, thank you for being with us this morning." 

Relena nodded. "Thank you for having me." 

"Now, you've been away from your duties for the past five days, which is very unusual, considering your position. What have you been doing?" 

"I've been taking care of some unexpected business that demanded my immediate and full attention," Relena replied smoothly. She'd expected that question, or some form of it. But if Roshelle was starting out with questions that direct, things would only get worse from here. 

"Could you elaborate on the nature of that business?" 

"Unfortunately, I can't, other than to say it's a sensitive matter that needed to be handled with extreme discretion." 

Roshelle paused for a moment, then looked directly at Relena. "In the years following the Eve Wars, part of the Earth Sphere's goal was to eliminate much of the subterfuge that goes on in the government. It surprises me to hear you refuse to comment on what obviously is a serious enough situation to be called 'Preventers' business,' as Preventer Chang said." 

"Ms. O'Connor." Relena leaned forward slightly, her hands forming a tent in front of her chest. "The details of matters of Earth   
Sphere security are routinely withheld from the public. If the Preventers notified the world every time there was a threat, nothing   
would get done. There is a time and place for public notification; while I firmly believe that the Earth Sphere should be fully   
informed about situations that threaten its continued stability, this situation is too sensitive at this time for comment." Relena sat   
back in her chair. Her argument made her sound a bit calcified, but hopefully it would hold. 

"If the New York trip involved a security issue, why wasn't your principal bodyguard, Heero Yuy, your escort?" 

Relena glanced over at Roshelle. The woman was sharp; she'd caught the opening Relena had left. "I was merely using the example to make a point, Ms. O'Connor. Please don't read anything more into it." 

Roshelle nodded. "Strangely, one person I did not see during my detention was Mr. Yuy; was he in New York with you?" 

Relena forced a relaxed smile to her lips. "No. Mr. Chang and Mr. Maxwell were handling my security." 

"Do you usually use Preventers and private citizens for your personal security?" 

Relena's smile became an honest one as she fought not to laugh. "Ms. O'Connor, Preventer Chang often aids my security. He and Heero are old friends. As for Mr. Maxwell, I assure you that he is quite experienced in the protection field." 

"Where was Mr. Yuy, if not with you?" 

"It's his job to keep track of me, not the other way around, Ms. O'Connor. He is a pleasure to work with, and I'm looking forward to our future together," Relena replied with barely a tremor in her voice. She was putting on a good show; she hoped   
Heero was watching. 

"Let's talk about the recent injuries at your estate," Roshelle said. "What happened that could hospitalize three members of your security detail?" 

Relena hands shook slightly; she folded them in her lap. "I don't have details on that; as you know, I haven't been in the office." 

"You didn't contact the estate once you heard that there were injuries?" 

"No, I wasn't able to at the time." Relena squeezed her hands together and smiled brightly, hoping that the camera wouldn't   
pick up her whitening knuckles, even though she knew that it would show the strain in her eyes. 

Roshelle leaned forward. "Is the attack on your estate related to your time in New York and the disappearance of Mr. Yuy?" 

Relena paused, then reached for her glass. She took a small sip, swallowed, and kept the glass in her hand. "Everything is   
related on some level, Ms. O'Connor, and I am not closed to the possiblity that these events could be connected. However,   
until I find out the situation at the estate, I really am not informed enough to make any connections between any of these events." She set the glass back down on the table. "I am concerned about my staff. My security teams risk their lives every day for my   
sake. I'm not sure exactly what happened, so I won't be able to comment on that, but I am confident that the responsible parties will be found and dealt with appropriately." 

"Vice Minister, do you have mononucleiousis?" 

"Not to my knowledge," she said lightly. 

"Did you, at any time, instruct the ministry to claim you had mononucleiousis?" 

"No, I did not." 

Roshelle paused, then began ticking off items on her fingers. "The ministry lied to cover up your trip to New York. Mr. Yuy did   
not come with you. He disappeared right after the incident at your estate. Your security detail kidnapped two reporters and destroyed equipment and film to ensure that your presence in New York was not publicized. Vice Minister, what exactly is going on here?" 

This time, Relena couldn't quite keep the tremor out of her voice, but she resisted the temptation to fidget. "In regards to your   
specific situation, Ms. O'Connor, before this incident, you and your camerman were not heading toward us, but rather away   
from us, as if you were trying to escape. I'm afraid my security misinterpreted your movements; they are very protective. When   
I need to move quickly and quietly, I use a smaller detail, and they need to be more cautious since they are fewer in number. The New York trip was one of those instances when I needed to be able to move at will; I couldn't risk having word leak out that I was in New York for a number of reasons. It was easier to take you and Mr. Drexel with us than to explain the situation. As for the destroyed film, my security was hoping to have some damage control over the leak. I will be more than happy to personally ensure that the damaged equipment is replaced." 

"What was so urgent that the ministry would lie and you would hand off the L-2 colony negotiations to your brother?" 

"As I said, it was urgent business, and that's as far as I'm going into it." 

"So you won't explain why you were in New York." 

"I cannot at this time." 

"And you don't know where Mr. Yuy is or what he's doing." 

Relena looked directly at the camera. "I cannot answer that at this time." //But I wish I could...// 

A flash of sympathy flickered through Roshelle's eyes, as if to say she she was sorry she had to press the issue. Relena checked her composure and waited for the next volley. 

"Vice Minister, many people have been saying that your personal life has been interfering with your professional life for quite some time now." The unspoken question hung in the air, waiting for a response. 

"Could you give me an example of this alleged 'interference'?" She didn't really have to ask the question, she knew where this was going. Instead, she busied her mind polishing the response she'd been thinking about for months. 

"Most critics focus on your consistent pattern of handing off sensitive negotiations to other staff members, mainly your brother,   
Milliardo Peacecraft, especially after the announcement of your engagement to Mr. Yuy." 

Relena leaned forward slightly, trying to look intense without being forceful. "And has Milliardo not completed those negotiations satisfactorily? Has he proven himself to be incompetent or incapable? No, he has not. He is good at what he does, and I believe he is an asset to the ministry that should be fully utilized. He is a strong leader with a true desire to prevent conflicts within the Earth Sphere; I couldn't imagine working without him." Psuedo-relaxing, as if the show was over, she continued, "And as for Mr. Yuy... well, Ms. O'Connor, I rather think that's my business, don't you?" She stared at Roshelle with the same flat look she used to shut other reporters down when they kept pursuing a topic that she didn't wish to discuss. 

"But what about your decreasing involvement in the ministry, Vice Minister? Overall, you've been doing less and Mr. Peacecraft has been doing more. What does this trend signal?" 

"That I'm due to be married in a few weeks?" Relena laughed. "I only plan to get married once, and I don't want to miss the wedding." 

"The wedding has been postponed, according to your office." 

"Yes, it has. The timing wasn't quite what we wanted. Even though it is my wedding, it's a bit more flexible than some of the talks that I have scheduled." Relena smiled. 

Roshelle studied Relena for a long moment. Relena returned the level gaze without flinching. Finally, Roshelle spoke. "Miss Peacecraft, are you aware that there has been a motion made to remove you from your position?" 

Relena's stomach trembled, but she schooled her face to serenity. "No, I wasn't." 

"Late last night, Representative Wanamingo issued a statement that you were no longer capable of fulfilling the demands of your   
office." Roshelle leaned slightly toward Relena. 

Little boomerangs of panic, fear, and anger bounced and whipped in her stomach. //A political attack? Now? Did Milliardo know? That slimy Kenyo... Although I admit I'm not surprised.// She clamped down her emotions. "And what was his rationale for that assertion?" 

"He feels that your recent and sudden disappearance was the last straw in a long line of repeated demonstrations of your lack of commitment to the position. He says, and I quote, 'Unless she's hiding something from all of us, Miss Peacecraft has become a   
part-time diplomat. That's not the kind of person we want as our representative and liaison.' Frankly, Miss Peacecraft, it does   
appear you've been hiding something from us; we'd like to know what it is." 

The camera moved in close to Relena, its red light staring at her like a demonic eye. She knew that it was zoomed in on her   
face, poised to catch any possible twitch or squirm and relay it to the world. She met the camera's unwavering stare with one of   
her own. 

//So this is what it's like to be on your own...// 

~owari Chapter 13~   
  



	14. Chapter 14

Warnings: angst, some het, some yaoi, touch of het lime in later parts. 4+3/3+4 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: There's a reference to a couple of in-series events. If you've been around the fandom for a while, you shouldn't be surprised. 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com.   
  
//thoughts// 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 14   
by quelirain 

_What I need is a good defense_   
_'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal _   
_And I need to be redeemed _   
_to the one I've sinned against _   
_because he's all I ever knew of love _ _--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

The hot studio lights warmed the air that settled, motionless, around Relena's body like a blanket. It lit her cheeks with a rosy   
glow that was highlighted by the blush the makeup artist had painstakingly dabbed and blended into her cheekbones. Her toes   
curled in her shoes, and she swore the collar of her blouse tightened around her neck. She sat perfectly still; if she moved, something might burst. 

"Vice Minister? Your response?" 

A cool breeze wafted through the heavy insulation the studio air provided, grazing her forehead. Her hands lay relaxed   
and tranquil in her lap, cool and unafraid. The calmness rose up her arms and settled into her chest. Everything would come out,   
now, and when it was over there would be nothing left of her. 

//Nothing left...// 

A sweet smile crept onto her face, bringing a sparkle to her eyes. She looked directly into the camera and began to speak. "Ms.   
O'Connor, it would be my pleasure to answer that question. I--" 

Her sentence was cut off by the studio door banging open. The floor director turned. That was the last thing Relena saw before the studio went black. 

Angry voices filled the room. Relena could make out the floor director's shouting and cursing over the melee. A hand grasped   
Relena's elbow, and she heard Roshelle's voice. "Follow me." 

Roshelle dragged Relena through the darkness and into a small side room, shutting the door behind them. 

"Miss Peacecraft--" 

"Call me Relena, please. We're under seige, after all," Relena quipped as she felt her way down to a position on the floor.   
Across the room, she heard Roshelle making the same sort of sliding sound in the darkness. 

"I suppose this is all part of why you came New York." 

Relena didn't answer. 

The shouting in the studio continued, punctuated by occasional thuds. Relena listened for familiar voices, but heard none. //Did   
Heero come for me that quickly? Amazing.// 

//But then again, he always was amazing.// 

Roshelle scooted over to sit next to Relena. "So, what is your answer?" Roshelle whispered. 

Relena continued to listen for noises that would identify the attackers. "My answer to what?" 

"As to what's going on that's so top secret." 

Relena fiddled with her lapel, hoping that Roshelle wouldn't notice the motion. The self-destructive feelings that she'd had this   
morning were fading now that she was faced with their consequences. //Last minute jitters, I suppose... I wonder if this is how   
Heero felt before he self-destructed?// "It's a long story, Roshelle, and I'd rather keep you safe than give you a scoop." 

"So it is Heero Yuy that's after you." 

Relena's forehead dampened in the dark. "What... what makes you say that?" 

"He seems like the protective type, and he's almost always at your side. When he's not, he's in the area. You're not with him   
now; there must be a reason for that. Am I right?" 

Relena didn't answer, intent on the sounds from the studio. The shouting had stopped. //Just a matter of time...// 

Roshelle sighed. "I suppose there's no better way to go." 

Relena relaxed against the wall. The secret was out, though she wasn't going to confirm it for Roshelle. "Shh..." she whispered.   
"We shouldn't attract attention--" 

The closet door flew open. Bright light flooded the room. Relena squinted, trying to make out the shadow behind the light   
source. A strong hand grabbed her upper arm and hauled her to her feet, reaching for her lapel to remove the microphone. "Onna," a familar voice hissed, "next time, don't run away from your problems." 

Relena twisted out of Wufei's grip. "I had to do something. All you wanted to do was sit and wait for something to happen." 

Wufei dropped the microphone and crushed it with his foot, staring at her. "You certainly made something happen. The interview was broadcast worldwide." She felt Wufei's hand take her arm again. "We're leaving. Now." 

She twisted again, but found that she couldn't quite escape this time. "Just because you piloted a Gundam doesn't mean you can throw me around like this!" 

Roshelle snorted. Wufei's black eyes swung around to stare at her. "Is something funny, onna?" 

"You? A Gundam pilot? You're barely old enough to remember the war, much less have played such a key role in it." 

Wufei froze, then scowled. But instead of replying, he dragged Relena from the small room, leaving Roshelle in the darkness. 

"Hey! You can't take the Vice Foreign Minister! Security!" Roshelle's shouts faded as they exited the studio. 

"This way." Wufei hauled Relena through shadowed hallways, stepping over several limp bodies on the way. 

Relena looked at the still faces on the floor as the she passed over them. "Wufei, you didn't hurt anyone, did you?" 

Wufei banged open the door to stairwell labelled as an emergency exit. "There were no fatalities." 

The door slammed shut behind them. Relena's shoes clicked rapidly on the stairs. It reminded her of the cocking of a gun. "Where are you taking me?" 

"Just keep moving." Wufei reached the bottom of the stairwell first. He slowly opened the door, heading outside to make sure   
the coast was clear. "Come on." 

"No." 

Wufei turned to stare at Relena as she stood in the dim stairwell. "Onna, we don't have time for this." 

"I won't run any more, Wufei." She met his eyes. He studied her in return. "I won't run." 

Wufei muttered something under his breath, then said, "Heero isn't here." 

Relena's knees went weak. Wufei grabbed Relena by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. Relena didn't resist. 

//Heero isn't here. Heero isn't coming. This didn't work. I didn't stall long enough.// Wufei dumped Relena into the backseat of a   
waiting car. The door slammed. She stared at the ceiling. //It wasn't enough. Heero didn't come. It wasn't enough. I wasn't   
enough.// 

The car moved. She remained prone on the backseat. 

//I wasn't enough.// 

She closed her eyes. "Where's Milliardo?" 

"Still in Brussels." 

"Take me to him, Wufei." 

~owari chapter 14~   



	15. Chapter 15

Warnings: angst, some het, some yaoi, touch of het lime in later parts. 4+3/3+4 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: There's a reference to a couple of in-series events. If you've been around the fandom for a while, you shouldn't be surprised. 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com.   
  
//thoughts// 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 15   
by quelirain 

  


_What I need is a good defense_   
_'cause I'm feeling like a criminal_   
_and I need to be redeemed_   
_to the one I've sinned against_   
_because he's all I ever knew of love_ _--Fiona Apple, "Criminal"_

  
__

It was a quiet flight. 

Relena sat in first class, next to a window, while Wufei glared at everyone and anyone who dared to near the front of the plane.   
Even the flight attendants were starting to show some nervousness. 

They sat in the very first seats in first class, so that no one would have a good reason to come by unless they were a member of   
the flight staff. They were the last on the flight and would be the first off, giving the other passengers very little time to ogle at   
the disheveled state of the Vice Foreign Minister, who certainly had been reported missing, perhaps kidnapped, by the National News Service. 

Of course, the flight personnel were well aware of who they had on board. Although Relena had let her hair down, the suit was the same one she'd had on this morning, and she still wore the heavier on-camera makeup. The flight attendants whispered in small clumps in the galley, and every time an attendant passed the front seats, obstensily on the way to the front galley, it was a different person. 

"Here." Wufei handed Relena a basket of warm, wet towels that the latest attendant had brought. "Clean your face." 

Relena accepted the basket and obediently began scrubbing her cheeks to remove the makeup. 

"That was not the best way to accomplish your goal," Wufei said flatly. 

She rubbed the warm cloth over her eyes. "What would you know about removing makeup?" 

"That's not what I meant." 

Relena looked sourly at the black and brown streaks left behind on the towel. "I had to do something. You all were just sitting around, waiting for something to happen." She dropped the dirty cloth onto her tray table and picked up a clean one. 

"Do not mistake lack of visible action for inaction." Relena looked blankly at Wufei. He sighed. "Preparation should be part of every endeavor, no matter what the situation. Yuy is being protected from others and from himself. Winner is alive and well. Intelligent, considerate action was required in this case, which takes time, which we had plenty of until you acted. Therefore, your actions were foolish." 

Relena turned back to the tray table and her towel. 

"W-would you like a mirror, Miss--" Wufei glared at the flight attendant, who swallowed and repeated, "miss?" 

Ignoring Wufei, Relena looked at the flight attendant standing nervously in the aisle. "Please," she replied. The flight attendant   
handed over a small mirror and stepped away, but not before Wufei caught his arm. 

"In the future, we will contact you if we need anything." 

The flight attendant nodded rapidly. "Yes, sir, sorry to disturb you." He flew down the aisle. 

Wufei picked up where he'd left off. "The best way to win a battle is to combine a well-planned attack with a reconnaissance plan. Your strategy lacked both." 

Relena looked in the small mirror, noting that the majority of the mascara was gone, although there were still dark circles under her eyes. Whether those were from the makeup or lack of sleep, she wasn't certain. She patted at them gently. "Quatre isn't like you. He hasn't kept his skills as honed as you and Heero have. He's a businessman." 

Wufei gave her a long, level look. "Precisely." 

Relena dumped the rapidly-cooling towel onto her tray table and began working her face over with a third one. "What do you mean?" 

"Winner is an expert tactician. His strategies have proved reliable in the past, and though not infallible, they have always included a back-up plan. I trust his decision to keep Yuy secluded. I will aid that plan however necessary." 

Relena frowned her disagreement. "But in Heero's current state of mind... is it safe to leave Quatre alone with him?" 

Wufei's eyes narrowed. He spoke slowly, as if trying to explain a difficult point to a child. "You forget who Winner is. Do not insult him by underestimating his abilities." 

"I didn't mean--" 

"Yes, you did," Wufei replied, "but I don't fault you that. Your comments reflect your understanding of the situation, which is not consistent with the reality of the situation. We're not here to protect you from Yuy. He does not want to hurt people any more. He is not a threat." 

Relena's eyes widened. "But... but Quatre--" 

"Winner's injuries were not fresh. I suspect there was a struggle between him and Yuy the night you left Paris, but it did not appear that anything had happened to him since," Wufei said, staring flatly at the seat in front of him. 

"Then hiding me makes no sense!" Relena sputtered. "If there's nothing to fear from Heero, then why are we bothering with all this cloak and dagger business?" 

Wufei blinked, then turned to look at her. His face held an incredulous wonder that was quickly concealed. "Do you understand _anything_ about Yuy, onna?" 

Relena took a deep breath before answering tightly, "Your point, Wufei?" 

Wufei shook his head. "Yuy cares deeply for you. Your... infidelity," he said it like a dirty word, "wounded him as deeply. Yuy does not do hurt well. He channels it into the mission, which was, in this case, to find you. However, if he couldn't find you, that would give him the time to process his emotions. Winner can help him with that." Wufei leaned back. "This is not about protecting you from Yuy, though your brother would have it seem that way. This is, and always was, about protecting Yuy from himself. We are providing him with space." 

The sentence silenced her. She stared out the window as the clouds underneath the plane churned. 

"As for Maxwell..." Wufei closed his eyes. "That is something he will have to work out with Yuy." He paused. "Quatre... he is   
doing for Yuy what Maxwell does for you. That is admirable." 

"Quatre and Heero are not sleeping together, Wufei, and I resent your implying that," Relena replied tartly. 

Wufei looked at her levelly. "I never said that. I am merely stating that Winner has chosen to support and distract Yuy as needed without expecting anything in return." He paused. "Both Maxwell and Winner are getting what they expected." 

Relena flushed. "That was cruel." 

"You forget who Winner and Maxwell are. You forget who Yuy and I are. And you forget where our loyalties lie." Wufei crossed his arms. "I will tell you what I see. I see a woman who does not know what she wants. I see several of my friends have been hurt because of that woman. It would not be honorable to sit idly by and watch the inevitable come to pass." 

Relena flinched. "Have you had this discussion with Duo?" 

"We have talked before, yes. He was... much less appreciative of my intervention." 

"I hope he was." Her gaze returned to the window. "I do care about him." 

"Not enough." 

Relena's head whipped around. "How would you know whether or not it's enough?" 

Wufei stared at the back of the seat, his eyes slightly unfocused. He was silent so long that Relena thought he was ignoring the   
question. When he finally spoke, his voice startled her. "I, too, did not love enough. I did not realize what I had in my late wife   
until she lay dying in my arms, a direct result of my foolishness and pride. I have spent much time living with the knowledge that I wronged my wife and will never have the chance to right what I have done. Consider yourself fortunate; you have time on your side." Wufei swung his head around to take in Relena's dropped jaw and wide eyes. He laughed. "I am not made of stone, princess, but nor am I made of glass. As I said, I've had time to live with my actions. So will you." 

Although she had felt some sympathy for Wufei during his quiet retelling, his last, almost teasing, comment, riled her. "So if you   
think what I've done is so wrong, and what Duo's doing is so wrong, why are you helping? Why did you take this assignment? ou could have just as easily sent someone else, made this an official Preventers problem." 

Wufei regarded her flatly, all the amusement gone from his face. "You are not the only one with unpaid debts, princess. I do what I do for Yuy's sake, not yours." He returned his gaze to the seat in front of him, then closed his eyes. His chest began to rise and fall in a steady rhythm. Relena stared at him, indignant, but finally turned back to the window. 

~owari chapter 15~   
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 16   
by quelirain 

  


_Darlin' give me your absence tonight_   
_take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white_   
_let me sink in the silence that echoes inside_   
_and don't bother leaving the light on_

_--Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone"_

Relena spend the rest of the flight in silence, losing herself in the replay of Wufei's words. She didn't notice the gawkers who recognized her as the plane landed and she and Wufei made their way out of the terminal and into a waiting car, escorted by more Preventers. 

Wufei's words stung. 

//Duo is more than a distraction! How can he say that? He knows I care about Duo.// 

Relena rested her head against the car window, ignoring the scenery. 

//But he didn't say I didn't care... he said that I didn't care enough.// 

//What's _that_ supposed to mean?// 

She barely noticed when the car stopped in front of the estate, when her brother opened the door and hugged her as she got out of the car, and when Wufei dismissed the security and Milliardo led her inside. 

Relena reviewed the conversation again. 

//Wufei foolish and prideful... can't say he's changed much,// she thought dryly. //His _wife_. I wonder what she was like? And how did he wrong her? His colony was destroyed... but that would wrong more people than just his wife. It's obvious he admired her.// 

//It's also obvious that he doesn't think too much of me.// She sighed. //Not that I think much of me these days, either.// 

"Relena?" 

She looked up at the voice to her side, at Milliardo. 

"I asked you if you were hungry." His eyes showed his concern for her disoriented state; they darted from her face to over her shoulder, where she suspected Wufei was standing, eyes shuttered. 

The quiet voice from behind her confirmed Wufei's location. "She's probably tired. It has been a long day." 

"Yes, yes. I'll take her upstairs. Relena?" 

Relena followed without seeing. Milliardo led her into her bedroom, giving her an admonition to rest and that adding someone would bring up her dinner before closing the door quietly as he left. Obediently, she lay on the bed, her wheels continuing to grind. 

//And how can he say that I don't understand Heero? I...// Images of Heero, flickered through her mind--working on his computer, watching her silently, sleeping by her side, over her late at night... 

//What do I really know about Heero?// 

//I know he loves me. That's enough.// 

//Isn't it?// 

She pressed her cheek into the pillow for a moment. 

//It's not enough, is it.// 

She hurled herself off the bed and stripped, not caring where her clothes fell. She heard fabric give and buttons fall more than once. She set Duo's cross on the dresser, then headed for the shower. 

//But I know what I want! Wufei was wrong about that! I do know what I want! I want people to not get hurt because of me! I want a stable Earth Sphere! I want everyone to be safe now that the wars are over!// 

Her thoughts silenced as she ferociously scrubbed herself from head to toe. When she finished, she reached to turn off the water. "I want my life back... I didn't ask for this." 

Relena froze. It took her a full thirty seconds to realize that the voice had been her own, echoing off the tile in the shower. In the quiet, more thoughts came. 

//I want Heero to be happy.// 

//I love Heero...// 

//But can I love Duo at the same time?// She'd always thought that true love, once found, was all-consuming, leaving no passion left over for a second love. Yet Duo's tenderness and dedicated support and Heero's obvious concern and inherent understanding of who she was and what she needed came together to fill her heart. //And if I also love Duo... can I love either of them enough?// 

She sank to her knees, water beating down on her. 

//...what do I want?// 

//I want... I want to have them both, but in reaching for both, I can't have either.// 

//And as much as I love them both, I can't love them enough to hold on to them both.// 

Hot, salty liquid trailed down her face as cooling water flowed over her neck and her back, dripping down onto her legs. Wufei had been kind, suggesting strongly but not bluntly putting before her what she should have seen from the beginning. 

//As much as I've said that I don't want people suffering for me, that's all that's happened. I ran from Heero, I left Quatre alone, I dragged in Wufei and Trowa.// 

//Wufei kidnapped two reporters and injured bystanders at the news station because of me.// 

//Heero injured security staff because of me.// 

//Quatre was hurt by Heero because of me.// 

Relena closed her eyes, clenching her fists as she listed off her sins. She had to follow this to the inevitable conclusion. 

//I deceived Duo.// 

//I betrayed Heero.// 

//I've hurt everyone.// 

Reaching out, Relena wrenched off the water and stepped out of the shower, shivering. Not bothering to dry off, she bundled herself into a terrycloth robe that hung on the back of the bathroom door. 

Wufei was waiting for her. He set a tray with soup and sandwich down on the nightstand before turning to look at Relena as she stood in the bathroom doorway. He looked her over, then nodded once. "You understand, now. And if you understand this much, you will soon realize that of many apparent solutions, there is really only one choice." 

She said nothing. 

"Milliardo would like to speak with you as soon as possible, if you wouldn't mind getting dressed." He turned to leave. 

"Wufei." 

He waited, back to her, until she crossed to the dresser, picking up Duo's cross and pressing it into Wufei's palm, wrapping his hand around it. 

"I don't know where Duo is, but I know you do. Please, make sure this is returned to him," she said softly. "I know it is important to him. And also, tell Trowa and Quatre that I am sorry. I never meant... I never intended anything like this to happen. And Heero... I think he would understand." 

Wufei froze, then turned, taking Relena by the shoulders and looking deep into her eyes. After a several minutes his intense regard, she slid her lids shut and eased into calm blackness. His voice came from nowhere, penetrating the dark. "I am not your messenger," he said. "You will return this yourself." 

She felt him release her shoulders. Seconds later, a warmed chain slid up both sides of her neck. She could feel Wufei's breath on her face as his hands reached behind her neck, then dropped the chain onto her skin. She felt up to her collarbone, catching Duo's cross in her hand. 

"Until you know which path to take, princess," Wufei said sternly, "you must continue on the path you are on. Think on your duties and your responsibilities. Fulfill them, cause no more harm, and seek to repair what has been broken." With his index finger, her touched a piece of the chain that lay on the skin over her collarbone. "Milliardo is waiting. He needs you, as does the rest of the Sphere." He stepped back, and a heartbeat later she heard the door close quietly behind him. 

Her hand was on the cross before she realized she'd moved. The chain seemed to shorten, crawling about her neck. Duo's chain. Duo's cross. That he'd given her. Because he loved her. 

She loved him. 

Relena opened her eyes. 

~owari chapter 16~   



	17. Chapter 17

Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 17   
by quelirain 

  


_'Cause I suddenly feel like a different person_   
_from the roots of my soul comes a gentle coercion_   
_and I ran my hand over a strange inversion_   
_A vacancy that just did not belong_

_The child is gone_

_--Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone"_

Wearing a soft grey silk pantsuit and matching blouse, Relena stood in front of her dresser, brushing out her still slightly-damp hair. 

She'd never really considered her work at the ministry a duty. The word implied a routine of chores, done unwillingly, instead of the unification of people and ideas that she'd come to associate with her position. She had chosen to take on the responsibility of creating and maintaining peace; she did not deny that. But duty... duties were done, regardless of preference or choice. 

Wufei had made the distinction clear to her. His respect for Heero, Duo, and Quatre made him take on being responsible for her. But it was duty that had sparked the conversation on the plane and the one they'd had less than fifteen minutes ago. 

She pulled her hair back into her trademark low and loose ponytail, binding it with a gold band that had been wrapped around the handle of her brush. She set the brush on the dresser, glancing in the mirror at her pale, makeup-less face. She scowled. That was what duty looked like. Dull, flat, and unattractive. 

The dark circles were still under her eyes, so she reached for the concealer. 

Her earlier moment of despondency had surprised her. She had endured a war, held on to the ideal of peace without compromise, and help maintain that peace every day. She knew that death didn't solve anything. Neither did running away, as your problems always caught up to you. 

She blended the concealer, then began applying the rest of her makeup--lipstick, mascara, liner for both eye and lip, blush. When she was done, she looked almost normal. Milliardo wouldn't notice anything. It was Wufei's duty to fill Milliardo in, but... perhaps he wouldn't. Or perhaps he would view it as his responsibility to ensure that she didn't kill herself. 

Of course, once you were dead, there was very little that could be done to fix problems; she knew that and accepted it, and with it accepted the fact that if she were dead, she could never apologize to Quatre, Duo, and Heero for what she'd put them through. She owed them that much. It was a duty, but one that she now fully understood, accepted, and chose. And that was enough to move her apologies, and remaining alive, to the realm of responsbility. 

She reached for a piece of grey silk to tie in a bow around the binder, slipped on a pair of grey shoes, then opened her room door. Wufei was waiting there. He looked her over and nodded. 

"Ready, then." 

He led her from the living quarters into the office she used when working from the estate. Milliardo was waiting, staring out the large window behind her desk, his arms bracing his upper body as he leaned forward, gazing blankly. The glass was bulletproof, shatterproof, and one-way. It was the only way Heero would consider letting her have windows in her office. The round oak table in the corner of the office was surrounded by four chairs that rolled; underneath the spot designated for Relena, back to a wall as always, was a panic button. 

Relena glanced at Wufei, who nodded. 

Silently, Relena crossed the carpet between herself and her brother, wrapping her arms around his waist in a tight squeeze. He froze, then responded in kind, turning in her embrace to rest his nose in her hair. They stood together like that, Milliardo's hair curtaining Relena's face, until the tendrils tickled her nose. She sneezed, and Milliardo laughed and pulled back, one hand reaching to brush his hair behind his shoulder. 

"Sorry about that. It always gets in the--" 

Relena silenced him by pushing up to her toes and gently kissing his cheek. When she stepped back, he looked down at her curiously, almost... shyly. 

"I'm not sure what that was for, Relena, but I must say I'm surprised that you're being so... affectionate," he said, blushing slightly as he said the word. 

"I'm glad to see you again," she said softly. 

Milliardo blinked, then laughed nervously. "What did you all do to her while she was with you?" Milliardo asked Wufei, but his eyes were bright and wide, far from teasing. 

"Nothing that you wouldn't have approved," Wufei replied, looking expectantly at Relena. She sat at the table in her usual place and waited for the men to join her. 

"The situation here is extremely sensitive right now," Milliardo began, setting a pile of papers that had been hidden behind him on her desk on the table. He and Wufei sat. "The press office is fielding calls from everywhere about the interview this morning, although I do agree with Wufei's decision to remove you from the program..." Wufei smiled, but his face turned serious at Milliardo's next words. "Rumors are still flying about what you're hiding, Relena, and frankly, I'm not sure what to tell them." 

Relena felt Wufei's eyes on her as Milliardo spoke. She let her stare fall to her hands, loosely folded in her lap, then reached up to touch the cross beneath her blouse. "Milliardo..." 

"The press office is stonewalling, but that's not going to work forever," he continued, reaching for a legal pad buried underneath the paperwork, pen in hand. "The longer we wait to come clean, the more the public is going to question you. We've used some questionable tactics to buy you time; I'm afraid that those come at a cost." 

"Milliardo..." Relena raised her head and met her brother's eyes. "Did--" She swallowed, then glanced at Wufei. He was watching her. "Did Heero-- did he hurt anyone when he found out I was gone?" 

Milliardo paused. 

"I have to know." She gripped the cross, crushing her blouse around it. "Were more people hurt in my name?" 

"Relena..." He looked down at the notepad. "Yes. There were injuries." He sighed. "Heero was furious, as we'd expected. We took measures to ensure that he wouldn't follow you--" 

"Measures?" Relena continued to stare at Milliardo. "What kind of measures?" 

"We had prepared some tranquilizers, just to calm him. In case he became violent." Milliardo set the pen and notepad down on the table, then met Relena's gaze. "It was a last resort, which we had to use." 

"Drugs, in Heero's system, cause unanticipated results," Wufei added flatly. "Similar to throwing a stick of dynamite into a munitions dump." 

Relena blinked, then glanced at Wufei, her hand loosening around shirt-wrapped cross. He was studying her brother now, who was flushing. "Yes," Milliardo replied. "We found that out. He became rather... paranoid. He sealed off security and interrogated two of your staff before we got there; then he escaped." 

It wasn't hard for Relena to imagine Heero's interrogation techniques. She'd seen him interview new security staff members; that was bad enough. She let her hands fall into her lap, her gaze following them. "How long would the tranquilizers have been in his system?" she asked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Wufei nod again. 

"We're not certain." 

Relena took a deep breath, then let it out slowly and stood. "I would like to speak with the injured," she said. "Where are they?" 

Milliardo's eyebrows raised and his chin dropped. "Most were discharged the day after; two are still hospitalized. They're going to be fine. We should concentrate on taking care of you." 

Ignoring him, Relena continued, "I'll need a list from you of all who were injured in this incident, but in the meantime, I would like to speak with those who are hospitalized." She drew herself up straight and stared at him. "Let's go." 

Milliardo glanced at Wufei, as if asking for support. Wufei stood as well. "I will play decoy; I have some things to take care of," he said. "Whenever you are ready, princess." 

"Now, then." She slid out from behind the table and headed for the door. 

~owari chapter 17~   
  
  
  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 18   
by quelirain 

  


_Honey, help me out of this mess_   
_I'm a stranger to myself_

_Don't reach for me, I'm too far away_   
_Don't wanna talk 'cause there's nothing left to say_

_--Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone"_

At the hospital, Relena slumped against a wall outside of one of the patient's rooms. She'd changed into jeans and a blouse at Milliardo's insistence; now she was glad she had listened to him. 

Although the majority of injures involved concussions and bruises, Heero had managed to put one of her guards into a coma, although he was fully expected to come around any day now. The other guard had acquired several broken bones at Heero's hands in addition to a laceration that no matter how Relena insisted, the guard refused to explain. 

Relena's apologizes and thanks had been well-received all around. That could have more to do with the unconditional offer of covering all their hospital bills and allowing them as much time off as they needed, but no one, not the conscious guard or any of the friends and family that had been visiting, seemed to blame her for Heero's behavior; they were worried about her safety, with so many of them out of comission and Heero on the loose. Of course, that loyalty had been drilled into all her guards   
during training and orientation, but the families... they were so quick to forgive. Her apologies, even before she volunteered to cover all bills, were met with headshaking and shrugs. 

"She was injured doing what she loved." "He knew what he was getting into when he took the position." "He isn't angry; why should I be?" "I'm just glad she'll be all right." 

And then, of course, the guard who was conscious was absolutely forgiving. He offered her a tissue when she began to cry silently as she apologized over and over to him. 

"But Miss Relena," he'd said quietly, "This is why I am here. I would rather be here, for you and your peace, than have you be here and the peace be gone." 

Relena wasn't certain that she would be so pardoning, in the same position. Her stupidity and self-centeredness had created a mess. 

"Are you going to continue to berate yourself for that which you've been forgiven?" came a voice to her side. Relena jumped and turned to see Wufei sitting there. "Trowa has found Duo; they've decided to look for Quatre." 

Relena blinked, this time her heart jumping. "Everyone's all right." 

"I spoke with Trowa; both he and Duo are fine. They have not heard from Quatre since we spoke to him." Wufei looked at her. "Milliardo is waiting. Are you ready to go?" He stood. 

"Wufei." He turned to face Relena. She approached him, then slowly wrapped her arms around his waist. Wufei stiffened. "Thank you," she whispered. 

At her words, the boy sighed and bent his arms around her, squeezing her shoulders briefly before extricating himself from the embrace. His face was stony, but his eyes were bright. "Heero loves you," he said, "and Duo does as well." He touched the chain of Duo's cross where it lay on her neck. "Choose wisely, princess." Then he was gone. 

Relena said her goodbyes to the guards and their family before heading for the main entrance of the hospital. She had made a good start, but there was still a lot to be done before she would be able to look herself in the mirror again. She suspected Milliardo would be eager to leave; he was eager to rebuild her reputation. 

Her limosine pulled up into the drive-through at the front of the hospital; the plates matched what Heero had her memorize. Relena groaned inwardly. Quickly, she reached for the door handle and slid into the backseat of the car, hoping that no one had noticed her. "Milliardo, if you're going to keep me low profile, you can't just pick me up in a limo! Where's..." she trailed off as she realized that although she wasn't alone in the backseat, it wasn't Milliardo who was in the backseat with her. 

"Buckle up," Heero said quietly, hitting the privacy window once with the palm of his hand. The car pulled away. 

Relena started as the car moved. Heero reached over her for her seat belt, his hands gently snapping the belt snugly around her waist. After he moved back, she stared at him. 

His hair was messy, as usual, but even in the shadows of the limosine, she could make out dark patterns on his pale skin. He wore a white dress shirt, sleeves neatly buttoned at the wrist. She could see the edge of a bandage peeking out from under his left sleeve as he moved to buckle himself in. Khaki pants, white socks, and dress shoes completed the outfit. He looked like Quatre had dressed him, something which Relena actually found rather comforting--if Quatre had dressed Heero, it meant that Quatre was all right. 

Heero stared out the window, carefully avoiding her gaze. The angle of his head hid the worst of the fading bruises. Relena folded her hands in her lap to keep from reaching to turn his head so she could examine him. Apparently Wufei had been right about Quatre. Even though he had settled into the life of a businessman, he had been a Gundam pilot, not to mention his sisters--he had to know how to fight, and he seemed to have held his own against anextremely on-edge and possibly drugged Heero. She filed that away for future reference. 

There were questions that she wanted to ask him, things that needed to be said, but she kept silent. This was his show; she was going to let him run it as he would. She needed to finish thinking, anyway. She still wasn't sure what she wanted from him, and as the car rolled smoothly on, it occurred to her that maybe she wouldn't be certain until she knew what Heero's motives were. 

He had closed his eyes now, and appeared to be sleeping, but Relena suspected he was having the same struggle she was. //What do you say to someone you've betrayed?// she wondered. //An apology isn't enough, but I'm not sure I can offer him more.// 

She reached up to graze the cross underneath her shirt lightly with her fingertips, but her eyes remained on Heero's still form. //Which? Which one? I betrayed them both, but it seems that I can only have the forgiveness of one or the other... is this what Wufei meant when he told me to choose wisely? I don't want to hurt either of them... but I have to hurt one of them... how can I stop hurting people? What do I have to do?// 

The car was stopping now, and Relena shivered, her gaze and her hands dropping into her lap. 

"Cold?" 

Relena looked up to see Heero looking at her. She shook her head. "Where are we?" 

"Here." The car door opened. Relena squinted against the light to make out the features on the figure holding the door. The shadowy shape tossed something to Heero, then stepped back. Heero exited the car, then reached a hand in to help Relena out. She tried to move, but found herself restrained. 

"Belt." Heero reached inside to unclasp the seat belt he'd carefully latched. His voice was low and laced with affection. Relena's heart lightened. If he still used that rumbling, intimate tone with her, maybe there was still a chance that this could work out. She reached out and grasped Heero's hand, easing out of the limousine. 

A blonde with a chaffeur's cap and dark suit stood next to Heero. He wore large, dark sunglasses and leather gloves, obscuring his features. She waited as the chaffeur murmured something to Heero, who nodded. 

"Come on." He grabbed her hand again and pulled her toward the apartment building that they'd pulled up in front of. Heero stepped inside, unlocking both security doors and calling the elevator, holding her hand the entire time. 

There were still no words between them, although to Relena it was now obvious that Heero had something he wanted to say. //Trying to anticipate Heero is what got me in this mess in the first place; maybe it's a bad idea to try and guess what he's thinking, when, if I just ask him, he'll probably tell me.// 

The elevator arrived with a chime, and they got in. 

//Maybe... maybe I should just listen, and not worry about speaking... and if I should have to say anything, it should be honest. From the heart. Heero loves me. He _loves_ me.// 

//And if I beg him now, he might still take me back.// 

The cross shifted against her chest as the elevator ground to a halt. 

_//"Next time you see Heero, you could tell him that we weren't sleeping together and that it's all been a big misunderstanding. He'd believe you. Should I expect you to do that?"_

_"Do you want me to tell Heero it was a big misunderstanding?"_

_"Do you want to?"//_

She blinked at the memory of Duo's words. 

//I can't do that to Duo.// 

Heero, still holding her hand, pulled her from the elevator and into the hallway, keys in his other hand. He unlocked a door and led her inside. 

~owari chapter 18~   
  
  



	19. Chapter 19

Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 19   
by quelirain 

  


_So my darlin' give me your absence tonight_   
_Take all of your sympathy and leave it outside_

_--Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone"_

Heero released Relena's hand as soon as they entered the apartment. Turning, he closed and locked the door. Then he slipped the keys into his pocket and looked at Relena, his eyes deep as wells and darker. He stepped out of the dim foyer into the living room, with large windows that looked out over the cityscape. After a moment of hesistation, Relena followed. In the light, it was easy to see the rapidly-fading bruises on Heero's face, and she noticed that his walk wasn't as cat-smooth as it had been when she'd seen him last. 

He studied her as she studied him, and she wondered what he saw. But she didn't ask. She'd done enough; now it was his time. She would listen. 

She walked past him and curled into the corner of the couch, looking up at him. He'd turned to track her movements. He didn't sit. Instead, those sharp blue eyes kept looking at her, combing her face, searching. 

They stood that way for what could only have been a few seconds, though it seemed much longer. 

Finally, Heero closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he spoke, his voice was so whisper thin that Relena would have missed it had she not been paying rapt attention to his every movement. 

"Why?" 

For a moment, she considered answering one of the other half-dozen questions that Heero could be asking, instead of the one that she knew he was. 

"Why?" He repeated himself, hoarsely. His eyes opened and met hers, the plea that he'd been restraining pouring from his eyes. She looked away. She couldn't bear it. 

"Because..." She felt the weight of Heero's gaze on her; she looked up into those sea-storm eyes again and knew that if she still loved him, there was only one answer. "Because I was selfish. Because I was afraid. Because I love you and didn't want to make you feel as if you had failed." 

His eyebrows raised, his expression incredulous, his jaw falling slightly open, lips parting, turning his head and swallowing. He stepped to the side, feeling blindly for the other end of the couch and guiding himself onto it. He cupped his head in his hands, raking long fingers through his already perfectly-touseled hair. "That's not what I expected to hear." 

She looked away from the sight of him, his legs apart, his elbows pressing into his thighs, his face hidden from her. It was hard, seeing him like this and knowing that there was still more to tell. 

Yet she found herself lifting her head, uncurling her legs to turn and face his statuesque figure, hard as it was to see the pain she had caused. She shifted, intending reinforce what she'd just told Heero, but then Duo's face flashed before her. 

//_"If this was nothing more than a diversion, then fine. I can live with that. But tell me now." //_

She took a breath and let her mouth shape the words that she needed to say. 

"Heero... there was someone else." 

He looked up sharply, his bangs flipping up and before settling over his eyes. His back was tight and straight, as if someone had slammed a pole through his spine. He didn't move, just stared at her with those eyes that would be bleeding tears if they belonged to anyone else. 

"I'm sorry, and I know it's not enough to just say that I'm sorry. But I... we should have talked. We should have tried." She didn't waver, hesitate, or look away as she said quietly, "I wish we had tried." She held his gaze, letting him see the truth in her eyes. 

He looked away first, then spoke, hesitantly. "I won't-- I can't lose you because of some fanatic's bullet, not so soon after you and I--" He swallowed. "Quatre said I should just tell you how I feel. I feel... I can't... I knew there was someone else, but if you want someone else... I won't try to stop you." He nodded once, then opened his eyes, meeting hers for a millisecond. 

There was so much in those eyes; all the emotion in the world filled them. His pain shocked through her, but she stayed where she was, still and silent. A soft surprise filled Heero's eyes as she held his gaze and waited patiently for him to continue. 

"I don't ever want to let you go," he said slowly, "but I won't hurt you any more, Relena. If what you've been feeling is anything like what I feel now, then I understand why you-- why you might--" He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. "I know why." 

In her mind's eye, she could see Wufei, staring at her quietly, waiting to see what she would do. //Think on my duties and responsibilities to everyone,// she reminded herself, //fulfill them, cause no more harm, and seek to repair what has been broken.// She looked at Heero, saw the cords standing out in his neck as he swallowed. //Until you know which path to take, you must continue on the path you are on.// "Heero," she said in that same, quiet tone, "I don't want to hurt you." 

"I don't know if you could any more than you have." He let his head fall forward again to stare at the floor between his shoes. 

Her hand drifted toward her chest. She quickly redirected her reaching fingers to rub the side of her neck. "Maybe... maybe we still can try, Heero. To patch things up." 

His eyes opened wide as they continued to stare at the floor. Relena reached out, longing to ease his distress. A single fingertip grazed his bicep. He looked at it, then lifted his head to look at her, his eyes lighting up. Then his gaze fell downward, where they hung on her blouse. Slowly, he reached forward, but he didn't touch her; instead, his fingers slipped into her blouse, pulling at the shadow that had pressed into the white fabric. 

Duo's cross. 

Once Relena realized what Heero was trying to figure out, she pulled back, but Heero already had dislodged the cross from her shirt. The chain tightened and strained under the weight of Relena's torso until it snapped. She fell back onto the arm of the couch, leaving Heero with the chain dangling from his outstretched hand, his eyes locked on the cross. 

Startled, she pushed herself off the arm of the couch and leaned forward, reaching out. "Heero..." 

"Don't." 

Relena recoiled. 

Heero inspected the chain, then the cross itself. "This is Duo's," he said flatly. 

Relena looked at the chain dangling from Heero's hand, then Heero's face. The blue eyes were dull, numbingly empty. She closed her eyes to collect herself. 

"This is Duo's," Heero repeated, still staring at the object in his hand. 

She inhaled, then opened her eyes. "Yes, it is," she said quietly. 

"It's Duo?" He didn't move as he asked the question, but his chest rose and hung there, unmoving. 

She nodded. 

Heero's fist clenched around the cross. "And where does that leave us?" 

"I don't know." Whatever vestige of hope that Heero's eyes had held when she had reached for him crumbled in those blue eyes; Relena watched it fall as he heard her answer. "Heero," she said slowly, "I love Duo." 

Heero stood, and strode across the room. "I won't stop you, Relena," he echoed, "but please don't expect me to happily accept that you prefer Duo over me." 

"That's not what I said," Relena replied firmly. "I love him. I love you. I'm not sure how it happened--it shouldn't have happened--but it did." 

Heero's shoulders began to shake as a fine tension worked its way through his arms. He turned again and strode toward her, towering over the couch where she sat. "What am I supposed to do, Relena?" he said, shaking the chain of the cross in front of her. "You love me. You love him. What do you want me to do?" 

"You could start by stepping away from her." 

Heero froze. Relena started. And a dark figure detached itself from the shadows near the door. "Duo," Relena breathed. 

Duo's face was pale, his bangs hanging limply in his eyes. His arms were stretched out straight in front of him, his pasty fingers turning red where they gripped his gun. Shadowy eyes stared at Heero, who hadn't moved since Duo had spoken. 

"Step away from her, Heero. Slowly. Then hand me your gun." 

Heero eased back from the couch, then ducked and rolled too swiftly for Relena to track. Duo fired, but not quickly enough to stop Heero from coming out of the motion in a crouch, his own weapon out and ready. Heero stood, his gaze locked on Duo. 

"Relena," they said with one voice, "get out of here." 

~owari Chapter 19~   
  



	20. Chapter 20

Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: One, but it's something that was spoiled earlier in the fic. 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 20   
by quelirain 

  


_'Cause there's no kind of lovin' that could make this all right_   
_I'm trying to find a place I belong_

_--Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone"_

Images of blood and falling bodies washed over Relena in a nauseous wave. She looked from one man to the other. Both Heero and Duo stood facing one another, guns drawn and at the ready. 

"How did you find us?" Heero growled. 

Duo smirked. "The cross, idiot. Do you honestly think that I wouldn't take advantage of a perfect opportunity to bug Relena? I didn't think you'd ever catch on; hell, I bet you didn't even know she had it." 

Heero looked as if he wanted to ask something else, but instead he pressed his lips together in a tight line. "Relena, you should leave. Quatre should still be downstairs; he can get you out of here." 

Relena had been staring, but now she stood and without hesitation, moved directly between Heero and Duo. 

"Hey, pretty lady, is it just me or do you like being in the line of fire?" Duo said lightly. "Move, before Yuy gets trigger-happy. He's always wanted revenge for that day I shot him, although I think he's gotten his payback ten times over." 

"Move, Relena," Heero growled in agreement. 

"No," Relena said calmly, looking from one man to the other. Her heart was pounding. "This will not happen. I won't allow it. I know you're both upset. But if you want to be angry with someone, you should be angry with me. I caused this. It's my fault." 

"C'mon, Relena, let him have his chance. After all, I have been playing hide-the-hot-dog with his fiancée," Duo answered. 

Relena glanced toward Heero, seeing his arms quaver slightly. "He knows that," Relena replied sharply, before Heero could speak. "But it didn't just fall in there; Heero knows that, too." She let her eyes meet Duo's, seeking the kindness she'd always found in his eyes. "And Duo... Heero would never hurt me. He may get angry, he may lose his temper, but he would never--ever--hurt me. Please," she said again, "stop this." 

"I trusted you with she who was most precious to me," Heero said quietly, as if he hadn't even heard Relena's plea. 

"Yeah, and look how you treated her. Birds in cages always fly the coop." Duo winked. 

"And I love you both, and I won't just stand here and let you kill each other!" Relena snapped. "If either of you ever cared anything for me," she said softly, "if either of you ever had anything in your heart for me... you'll put down your weapons." 

A long minute passed. Relena's gaze flicked from one to the other. Finally, Duo sighed. 

"Fine, Heero. If it's my blood you want, you can have it." Slowly, he lowered his gun, clicking on the safety and slowly setting it on the floor. His eyes remained downcast. "I'm probably being foolish, letting my guard down around you. You probably want to kill me, or at the very least inflict grevious bodily harm." He looked up, spreading his arms wide. His eyes sought Heero's over Relena's shoulder. "Do it." Duo let his gaze fall to Relena, the tender light returning to his eyes as he looked at her. "If this is what it takes," he said quietly, "then do it." 

Relena turned to Heero, whose gaze and gun were both unrelenting. Slowly, she backed up until she stood directly in front of Duo. "If you're going to hurt him, Heero," she said, "then you have to hurt me." 

Heero stared at her, confusion in his eyes. 

The soft click of the door was the only warning Relena had before she was thrown to the floor by Duo. She heard Heero move above them, his weapon pointing toward an unseen target. She heard a gun go off and immediately began to struggle against Duo's weight holding her down. "Stop it! Please!" 

More gunfire was exchanged, then she heard a door slam. She lifted her head, only to have Duo push it back down to the carpet. 

"Yuy! Freeze!" 

Wufei's voice didn't surprise Relena. Duo and Trowa had probably notified him about their plans. But the second voice startled her. 

"Trowa, shooting Heero isn't going to change anything. Put down your gun." 

Quatre. 

"It doesn't matter, Trowa. I'm fine. Heero's my friend. We're both okay. Please stop this." 

Quiet footsteps, though not even, moved somewhere off to Relena's side, then Trowa murmured something, and suddenly Duo was off her and pulling her to her feet. She saw Quatre, touching Trowa's hand, gently disarming him near the door of the apartment. Heero himself had slid down to the floor, his back resting against a wall, his right hand open and bleeding slightly where he'd held Duo's cross so tightly. Wufei knelt near Heero, talking quietly and examining a wound just below Heero's left shoulder. Duo's cross, chain broken, lay glittering on the floor in the remaining daylight. 

Wufei came over to where Relena was standing. "Are you all right?" he asked, glancing her over. She nodded. He glanced at Duo. 

Relena sighed. "Wufei, I'm fine. I'm a little shaken up, but fine. What happened to Heero?" 

"Grazed by a bullet. Nothing serious." Wufei glanced toward Quatre, who was guiding Trowa to the couch and still talking quietly. Trowa wasn't replying to Quatre's comments, but he wasn't resisting being led to sit. Quatre had a limp, Relena noted, but the bruises were fading. He wore a dark suit and leather gloves, oddly enough. 

//Unless... yes. It _was_ Quatre who was driving the limo. I thought he looked familiar.// 

Wails of sirens neared at a rapid pace, and Relena heard Wufei roughly mutter an unintelligible phrase. Duo raised his eyebrows. "Wufei... I didn't think you used that kind of language." 

Wufei frowned. "Someone must have called the local law enforcement." 

"Gunshots in residential areas will often draw the attention of the local police, Wufei," Duo replied. "Anyway, isn't that Preventer badge enough to get the locals off our case?" 

"It would be easier if we were simply gone," Wufei said. The sirens reached their peak, then stopped. Wufei surveyed the room. "I'll deal with Yuy. Maxwell, you get everyone else out of here. Quietly." 

"I'm always quiet!" Duo protested. "I'm like a shadow in the night." He turned to the pair on the couch. "Hey, lovebirds, we gotta go." 

Trowa stood, helping Quatre to his feet. 

"Don't take this the wrong way, Quatre, but Trowa, just carry him. We've gotta move fast." He grabbed Relena's hand, pulling her along. 

She pulled away. "Wait." Turning, she headed for Heero. 

"Uh, Relena, this really isn't the time for a dramatic scene," Duo said, but continued ushering Trowa and Quatre toward the door. 

"This will just take a minute," she replied over her shoulder. She crouched in front of Heero, searching his eyes before pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. 

"The elevator is heading up to this floor," Quatre called. "Hurry up." 

"Go on down to the lobby. Take the stairs at the end of the hallway," Duo called from the door. 

Pulling back, Relena touched Heero's cheek with her hand, hovering there until Wufei grabbed Relena's arm, hauled her to a standing position, and shoved her toward the door. "Go," he barked. 

Relena stalled for a moment longer, her eyes on Heero's slumped form, before allowing Duo to hustle her out the door. 

~owari chapter 20~   
  



	21. Chapter 21

Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Notes: Once again, my characters have made certain decisions without checking with my plans first. I didn't plan this, but sometimes that's the way it goes... thank you all, as always for all the kind words and feedback, and enjoy the last three chapters of Never Let You Go. 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 21   
by quelirain 

  


_And I suddenly feel like a different person_   
_From the roots of my soul comes a gentle coercion_

_--Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone"_

Duo and Relena stepped out of the apartment, heading for the stairwell. Duo tucked his weapon back into wherever it had come from. As they turned a corner near the end of the hall, the stairwell door began to open. 

"Doesn't look like that's an option," Duo whispered. "Just trust me." He used his body to press her against a wall and began kissing her deeply, his elbows braced on either side of her head. Instinctively, her hands found his back, drawing him closer, letting the heat build between them. 

A uniformed officer passed, but Duo didn't let up, and Relena found herself responding as she always had to his nearness and his passion. She arched against him, wanting more, pushing further, letting his warm skin draw her hands underneath his shirt. 

It was Duo who broke this kiss. 

His face hung millimeters from hers, his face flushed and his eyes clouded with an honest passion. "Relena... what you said about Heero... was it true?" 

Relena nodded. 

Duo captured her lips again and probed beyond them with his tongue. He released her only to nuzzle the skin between her neck and ear, sucking lightly as Relena responded by pressing against him, her hands moving against his skin. It took too much concentration to pay attention, but she could hear the noises of feet and elevators heading for the apartment around the corner. 

"Duo," she whispered. "We need to--" 

"Shhh..." He pulled back from the earlobe he'd been exploring and kissed her mouth again and again, tenderly. "I'm really a fool, aren't I?" 

She shook her head. "You're not a fool at all, Duo." 

He drew back from her entirely, turning to face the other wall. Cold swooped in the replace the heat that had been so close to her. "So you've made your choice, then," he said. 

Relena pushed away from the wall, reaching to touch Duo's shoulder. "I do love you, Duo... but I owe it to Heero to try and work things out, if that's what he wants." 

"I figured you'd say that after Wufei through with you." He faced her, raising his hand to trace lightly across her jaw. She tipped her head to lean into the touch. Duo pulled his hand away sharply. She reached for him, but he stepped back. "If you touch me again, I'm not sure I'll be able to let you go. I know this is right, Relena." His hand clenched, and he said quietly, "But still... that doesn't make it any easier." 

He jammed his hands in his pockets and headed down the hall toward the stairwell without looking back. She followed, subdued. 

*** 

The windshield wipers swicked back and forth, leaving trails of smeared water on the glass. Considering that Trowa had hotwired the car, Relena didn't feel right mentioning that the owner was obviously neglectful by not having replaced them in a city where it rained nearly 300 days out of the year. Trowa was in the backseat of the car with Quatre. Duo drove them back to the estate. 

Duo seemed eager to take her home, and she hadn't resisted or really said much at all since their conversation. Duo's echoing of Heero's words had disturbed her. 

"Don't brood." 

The voice came from the backseat. She turned to see Trowa looking at her, Quatre half-asleep and leaning on Trowa's shoulder. She shook her head. "I'm not brooding." 

"You are." He glanced at Quatre as the blond shifted. "Quatre's already pardoned you." At the mention of his name, Quatre's eyes blinked open for a moment, then closed as he snuggled back into Trowa, who smiled and shifted to accommodate. 

"How is he?" Relena asked. 

"I'm fine," Quatre answered, turning his head without opening his eyes. "I'm just tired. And sore. Stop worrying, Relena. I can't sleep when you're brooding. We don't hate you. We aren't even angry at you. Not any of us." 

"I'm not sure why you aren't," she answered slowly. "I haven't been the most responsible or considerate person. I've hurt all of you." 

Trowa lifted his head, allowing Relena to see his full face clearly. His eyes were surprisingly clear and untroubled. "You've screwed up. Fine. We've all screwed up. We've all hurt people. But feeling guilty isn't going to make living through it any easier. Make your amends. Offer your apologies." 

"Then go and sin no more," Duo intoned quietly. Quatre snorted. 

"Quatre has already pardoned you," Trowa continued. "Quatre is fine. I'm satisfied with that." 

"Heero's hurt and confused, but not angry," Quatre added. "And Duo, although he'd never admit it, is just hurting right now. He's lost you, he knows it, and that's hard for him.". 

Relena blinked at that and looked at Duo, who kept his face blank and his eyes on the road. 

"Sorry, Duo," Quatre sighed. "But no one is angry at you, Relena. True, you've got some fences to mend, but that will come with time. Now will you stop fretting so I can go back to sleep?" 

Relena turned back to the front of the car, staring at the road ahead. 

"I mean that, Relena, or I'm going to have to knock you out or something." 

With a sigh, Duo took his right hand off the wheel and felt Relena's neck. She felt a slight pressure, then her world went dark. 

*** 

When Relena came around, she was back in her bedroom at the estate. 

//Guess Quatre wasn't joking about that,// she thought. //I've got to learn that one.// 

Sitting up, she swung her legs to the floor. Whoever had brought her in here had also taken off her shoes, so she padded out into the hall in her socks, listening for voices and hearing none. 

//Where is everybody?// 

Her mind began to supply her with answers. //Heero shot... Duo probably gone...// She sagged against the wall, pressing a hand to her stomach. //But they don't hate me, so Quatre says. So there's hope.// 

The hand that was on her stomach rumbled. It took her a second to realize that she was hungry. She shook her head, chuckling. 

//And after all this drama, it's true... life does go on.// 

Her giggles turned into fullblown laughter, loud enough that someone must have heard her, because she soon heard a worried Quatre calling, "Relena? Are you all right?" 

She tipped her head back against the wall, halting her laughter long enough to call back, "I hope so!" She took a deep breath and headed downstairs. Quatre was waiting at the base of the stairs, looking at her with a bemused smile. He looked her up and down, then nodded. 

"Hungry?" 

"Sure." 

Trowa was sitting at the kitchen table when they entered, his feet propped up on another chair, which he promptly removed upon seeing Relena. A steaming cup of tea was on the table in front of him; another cup was across from him, in front of an empty chair, which Quatre slid into. Relena headed for the refrigerator, browsing through its contents, and eventually came up with prepackaged salad mix. 

"Where's everybody?" she asked as she prepared the salad. 

"Um... well... I'm not sure where Milliardo went," Quatre answered. 

Relena brought the salad to the table, grabbing a fork on her way. She ate silently while wondering who to ask about first, eventually deciding on, "What about the others?" 

Quatre glanced at Trowa. 

"What is this?" Relena looked from one to the other. "What's going on?" 

"Heero's been arrested," Trowa said flatly. "Wufei is with him now, working with the local police to get him released." 

"Arrested?! On what charges?" 

"Disturbing the peace, carrying a concealed weapon without a license, that kind of thing. They're stalling until they can figure out what really happened, or so Wufei said," Quatre explained. "I've offered my full support, legal services, whatever they need." 

Relena stared at Quatre. "But why can't Wufei just wave his Preventer's badge around and take Heero?" 

"We're trying to do this quietly. The locals haven't figured out who Heero is, and we're trying to keep it that way. Drawing attention now would be problematic." Quatre sipped his coffee. 

Deliberately, Relena set down her fork, pushed back from the table, and stood. 

"I won't stop you from going to the station, but I wouldn't recommend it," Quatre said quietly. "There's nothing you can do. Your presence would create more problems than it would solve. It will be easier on Wufei and Heero if you remain here." 

Relena's normally placid gaze evolved into a glare. "I have spent this past week hiding and generally acting irresponsibly. It's time for me to step forward and take care of the problems I've caused." 

Quatre set down his cup, not acknowledging Relena's glare. "We both have played politics since we were children, Relena. You know that your actions will impact more than your immediate circle of influence. What you do shakes the entire Earth Sphere. If you walk out there and try to do what would be right if you were an average citizen, the public will never have faith in you again. They will believe that you have abused your power. They will believe that you are corrupt. And when you fall, you will take the Earth Sphere with you." 

"Are you suggesting that war will break out again? I doubt that, Quatre. I think the Mariemeia incident took care of that," Relena replied. 

"Ten years of peace is not enough to make the Earth Sphere stable. It will probably take most of our lifetimes before that truly happens." Quatre did look up then, meeting her eyes. "The world needs you, but they will reject you if you do what is right on the individual level. You have to think larger here." 

Relena considered that. "So what do I do, then? Just sit here and wait?" 

"Waiting is an action that is key in any battle. Striking at a key moment can make all the difference in the final outcome of the war," Quatre answered. 

Relena opened her mouth to speak, but Trowa spoke up instead. "Milliardo went to help Wufei clear things up." 

"That's almost as bad as Relena going down there herself," Quatre said darkly, staring into his cooling coffee. His eyes flicked up suddenly, toward Relena, then clouded over and returned to his cup. 

"What is it, Quatre?" Relena demanded. 

"Hey guys!" Duo shouted from the hallway. "I think you'd better see this! Milliardo's holding a press conference!" 

"If my hunch is correct, Relena, you're about to get your answer." Quatre downed the rest of his coffee then headed over to the coffeemaker for a refill. Relena stared at him, incredulous, before stalking to the media room. 

~owari chapter 21~ 


	22. Chapter 22

Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: none (I hope!) 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 22   
by quelirain 

  


_And I ran my hand over a strange inversion_   
_As the darkness turned into the dawn_   
_The child is gone_

_--Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone"_

Duo was right. Milliardo was on the screen, outside of some building, facing down a slurry of reporters with microphones and cameras and bright lights, even though it was late afternoon and there was still plenty of light to be had. They shouted his name as they vied for his attention. 

"I missed whatever he said first," Duo said, "but whatever it was, it's got them all riled up." 

"Yes, we will prosecute to the furthest extent of the law if that is what we find the situation demands. I am sure that the local prosecutor will do the same, if she feels it necessary, after the investigation is completed. However, our internal investigation and the external investigation are two separate matters entirely. I cannot predict how the police department will choose to proceed with this case." 

The questions continued to fly, and Milliardo continued to answer them patiently. No, there was no official comment from the Vice Foreign Minister at this time. Yes, she was safe and recuperating from her recent adventures. No, to his knowledge she had not spoken to Mr. Yuy since his arrest. 

Relena paled; Quatre was immediately at her side, easing her onto the couch. "What is he doing?" she whispered, horrified. "What happened?" 

The phone rang, but she continued to stare at the screen, watching Milliardo continue to answer the barrage of questions. 

Yes, Mr. Yuy would be suspended indefinitely pending the outcome of the Ministry's investigation. No, he did not anticipate any particular outcome. No, he would not reveal the names of the injured security members at the Peacecraft estate. No, he would not comment regarding where Mr. Yuy was the day the attack took place. Yes, he expected that both the Vice Foreign Minister and he would be subpoenaed to testify against Mr. Yuy. Yes, the Ministry would fully cooperate with the inquiry. 

Finally, Milliardo let the rabble rumble beneath him for a few moments before saying, "Yes, Ms. O'Connor?" 

"Roshelle O'Connor, National News Service... Has the Vice Foreign Minister been informed of the arrest and charges against Mr. Yuy?" 

"To my knowledge, she has been informed that Mr. Yuy was arrested, though I am uncertain as to if she knows what the charges were." 

"Like many of my colleagues, I've also noticed, Mr. Peacecraft, that as the Vice Foreign Minister herself has been increasingly indisposed, you have been stepping in for her. When do you anticipate that Miss Peacecraft will resume her duties, and what will be your role at the Ministry until she does?" 

Relena's eyes were locked on the screen, and she felt the others turn and stare silently at the pixelated image of Milliardo Peacecraft, standing outside a building--Relena guessed it was the police station--and waiting for the man to speak. 

Milliardo sighed. "Ms. O'Connor, I'm sure that the Vice Minister will return to her regular duties as soon as is reasonable, considering the incredible stress she's been under as of late. I will continue to perform her duties in her absence." 

"And if she should happen to step down, would you be next in line for the position?" 

"Turn it off," Relena said. "Just turn it off." 

Quatre squeezed her arm. "I'm sorry, Relena." 

"Milliardo spoke to Heero and convinced him the best way to protect you was for him to face full charges, both for the injuries at the estate and to explain your behavior over the past several months. Although Wufei tried to convince Heero otherwise, Heero agreed." Trowa's report was delivered in a monotone. "The charges include abuse directed toward you, Relena." 

Relena continued to stare at Milliardo's face on the screen, his lips moving as he continued to answer questions. The look on his face was the same as when he'd told her to leave, for fear of Heero's anger. It wasn't concern. It was flat, dispassionate, and all business. 

"He'll come back to convince me that I need more rest, won't he?" she said quietly. "He'll tell me about the charges, couched carefully to make sure that I don't find out right away that some of the charges are for Heero's behavior toward me. The prosecution of the case will continue at full force--it will have to, now, because of my prominence--and I will be busy with that, so he'll have to continue in his current role, covering for me." She looked up at Quatre, who was nodding. "Do you think he ever intended for me to return to the Ministry?" 

"I believe he did what he thought was necessary to protect you," Quatre answered. "I believe that he wants what he believes is best for you." 

"Which is life free from the Ministry. Or free from Heero. Or both." She stood. "Quatre, I won't let this happen." 

Quatre jumped to his feet. "Relena--" 

"I know." She shook her head. "I've already gotten into a lot of trouble trying to do what needed to be done without a plan. I'll need your help, Quatre. I need a plan, and you know the rules of the game that I'm going to play. Milliardo will have to be outsed with a minimum of notice, Heero's name needs to be cleared, and whatever mess the Preventers and the Ministry have gotten into on my account needs to be cleaned up." She lifted her head to look at the three others in the room, who were all watching her. 

Quatre cocked his head slightly, then reached out to take her arm. "Let's take this one step at a time, Relena, okay?" he said softly. 

"Rash decisions are best made in the heat of the moment," Duo quipped. 

"The first thing that needs to be done is to stop Milliardo from taking these actions on my behalf," she began, and the others circled around her. 

~owari Chapter 22~   



	23. Chapter 23

Warnings: hmmm... angst, potentially bastardized Heero, 1xR, Rx?. Lemon-free... for now. 4+3 implied. 

Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine. 

Spoilers: one little reference to the events at the South Pole, but nothing that would majorly spoil the series. 

Notes: 

Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com. 

Never Let You Go   
Chapter 23   
by quelirain 

  


_The child is gone._

_--Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone"_

Every coif and cuff was in place as Relena strode down the hallways of the Ministry a few hours later, greeting people, but not stopping to address inquisitive looks. Quatre, although in casual clothes, still was recognized by the majority of people, which kept them from being more persistent about getting answers to their questions--though the staff was comfortable with Relena herself, Quatre Winner was an unknown entity who did not spend much time playing politics. He didn't need to, as he was head of one of the largest non-government entities in the Sphere. 

They reached the press room, where Milliardo, per instructions, was waiting. The tall man stood as they walked in the door and headed toward them. "Relena, are you sure you want to do this? It's only been a few hours since I addressed the press--" 

"Something which will cease immediately," Relena interjected. 

"You're being promoted, Milliardo," Quatre added. "You'll be personal assistant to the Vice Foreign Minister, until you decide in six months that you have found another opportunity that interests you more and removes you from the daily business and operations of the Ministry." 

"We're announcing the promotion immediately," Relena said, sitting daintily and looking up at the two men. "In fact, we'll be issuing a formal statement in about an hour. I was wondering if you would be interested in making your own statement at that time. No questions, of course, but if you have something you'd like to say, you've got half an hour to run it by me." 

Feeling behind him for a chair, Milliardo sat slowly. "What brought on this... promotion?" 

"I want you closer to me, big brother," Relena answered, tucking an errant strand of blond hair behind her brother's ear. "I want to make spend as much time around you as possible, and this seemed like an effective way to do it." 

"The people will be upset; they never liked that you had me working in the Ministry--" 

"They'll tolerate it when they discover that my current assistant needed to take personal leave, and of course, who was I to deny him that? So, of course, with you being the person that knows what I do best, you are the ideal choice for the interim position. Of course, we'll have to hire someone to handle the media while you're busy with this; it really is a full time job, you know," she added breezily, glancing at the clock at the back of the room. "However, Quatre has been kind enough to recommend some people to me; interviews will commence immediately. Your shoes will be hard to fill, but we'll find someone." 

"What exactly are you trying to do here?" he asked quietly. 

She turned back to him, letting her calm expression slide slightly. "Milliardo, you seem to always have my best interests in mind. Since I seem to be losing Heero, why should it surprise you that I want family close by during this trying time?" 

Milliardo paled. "I'm being removed from the Ministry because I did what I thought was best for you?" 

"You have quite a history of doing what you think is best for me, Milliardo," Relena replied. "I would hope that was truly your intention, as the difference between protecting my interests and taking advantage of a situation is very, very little." She stood. "Quatre will help you with your acceptance statement; I expect to see it within the half hour." Relena smiled brilliantly. Milliardo seemed to wilt under the radiant expression. 

*** 

"Ladies and gentlemen of the press..." 

Relena scanned the crowd for Roshelle O'Connor as her brother announced his promotion. Roshelle had a better-than-average handle on how to get a story and which questions to ask. She'd have to ask the new press liaison to set something up with Roshelle. It wouldn't be an easy interview, but Relena knew it would be a fair one. And if the public thought that the exclusive had more to do with making amends that distributing news, all the better. After all, in a few months she would need Roshelle when she announced her departure from the Ministry. 

Both Milliardo and Quatre had tried to convince her that she was making a mistake in stepping down, but she had a few months to consider it, and even if she did decide to stay, she would need to groom a successor. Someone, of course, would tie her stepping down back to these incidents, and she would provide a wonderfully neutral answer. 

//"I feel my presence reminds people of the war and all that it entailed... although I have enjoyed my time in this position, I did not ask for this job, and the people did not ask for me to be in this position. I feel that the representative of the Ministry should be someone of the people's choosing." Insert charming smile. "And it also means that I can stop putting off writing my memoirs."// 

Roshelle would know it for what it was--a polite stonewall that Roshelle couldn't question without looking like a boor. 

"...and so, is with great pleasure I step into my new role at the Ministry." Ignoring the reporters' questions, Milliardo stepped back from the podium. Relena took his place, and the room fell silent. 

"Members of the press, I would also like to take this opportunity to announce that I will be returning to full duties, effective immediately. Milliardo, in his new role, will be most useful in bringing me up to date. I am looking forward to picking up some ongoing projects..." 

Relena spoke briefly about several ongoing issues, but the message was clear: The Vice Foreign Minister would not be addressing questions regarding her disappearance and reappearance, nor the issue of Security Chief Yuy, at this time. It was business as usual, and Relena was taking no questions. 

After leaving the reporters to stew in what she had and hadn't said, Relena left Milliardo in the capable hands of Trowa, who would escort Milliardo back to the estate. Relena herself headed to her office, where Quatre was waiting, sitting quietly behind her desk. 

"I spoke with Wufei and Lady Une," Quatre reported as soon as Relena had closed the office door and locked it. "Heero has been released into the custody of the Preventers, under the justification that he has known special talents that make trying to keep him in a traditional facility pointless. He's confessed, so once he gets in front of a judge, he'll be remanded to Preventers custody--namely, Lady Une, who will, I suspect, convince Heero to join the Preventers as some sort of specialist until his sentence is up. Then he'll be free to leave, but by then I suspect he'll be fully integrated into the Preventers." 

"What? Why can't they just drop the charges?" Relena sputtered. "There must be another way." 

Quatre shook his head. "If Milliardo hadn't spoken to the press, perhaps; but everyone is calling for blood. There's no way to get out of this without damaging your already shaky credibility, and you know what that would mean." 

"Damn my credibility, Quatre!" She clenched her hands together in front of her, letting her eyes close and her head drop. "Heero should be cleared. He was drugged. Milliardo admitted it." 

"Most people wouldn't react like that to tranquilizers." 

"Then villify Milliardo! Say he laced them with something. Say we didn't find out until after he was promoted. Figure out _something_." Hot tears began to slide down her cheeks as she strode to the desk and slammed her hands down on the surface. 

"Would you destroy your brother?" 

The simple words caused her to slide to her knees in front of the desk, falling back into memories of a brash fifteen-year-old girl with nothing more than a plane and a strong will, and a voice she'd long forgotten rising up from the radio telling her not to order the death of her brother. 

"Let me be blunt, Relena. Someone has to get screwed here. This time, it's Heero, true. But we both know he couldn't work within the Preventers as Heero Yuy anyway. Une probably has a new identity waiting for him right now." He came around the desk and crouched in front of her. "He'll be fine." 

"But..." She felt herself tremble. "I want to work things out with him." 

Settling on the floor, Quatre reached out to bring Relena into his arms. "Relena... I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but going to him now would undo everything we've done." 

Relena pushed back from Quatre and stared at him. His eyes were full of sympathy, but held no compromise. Relena stared at him for another second before heading for the door. Quatre was off the floor and in her way instantly. "Relena--" 

"This is not what I proposed, nor what I agreed to. Move." She moved to step around him, but he followed her, grabbing her wrist and twisting her around so he held her arms behind her. She went very still. "Let me go, Quatre." 

"No," he said simply. "You--" 

All she needed was the first syllable. Relena pushed back against Quatre with her full weight, like Heero had taught her, throwing both of them to the ground. Her attempts at gaining release were countered smoothly, but with her weight on him and the angle, Quatre was having difficulty regaining the upper hand. 

Finally, Relena yelped. Quatre immediately eased his hold. "Are you all--" 

She was at the door before he finished the sentence, flinging it open and charging out into a solid chest and stomach. Arms came up to grasp her upper arms. She looked up. 

"Princess," Wufei said calmly, "haven't we discussed what happens when you act rashly?" 

Firmly, but not without care, he brought her back into the room, where Quatre was sitting up from the floor. Wufei released Relena in time for her to see the half-amused eyebrow arch over one eye. 

"Wonder if I can get Heero to teach me that move," Quatre explained ruefully, coming to his feet. 

"You let your guard down," Wufei replied flatly. He turned to Relena without waiting for comment from Quatre. "Winner is right, however. No contact with Yuy is possible. It may be sometime in the future, but now it is not." 

Relena glared at Wufei. "You've been telling me to wait and wait and make a plan, and when I actually follow your advice, you get Heero thrown into prision?" 

Wufei shook his head. "Although I do not entirely agree with his rationale, this was Yuy's will." 

"How do you know?" she spat back. 

Silently, Wufei's hand slid into his pocket. Grasping Relena's wrist, he pressed something warm into her hand. 

She brought her hand into her line of vision to see what Wufei had placed there and went cold when she saw the glittering cross and broken chain. "What is this, Wufei?" 

"He wants you to return this to Maxwell for him." 

Realization slid down her back like a snowball, leaving trails of icy water in its wake. "He didn't know what I decided to do. There wasn't time to tell him that I wanted to work things out. There wasn't time..." 

It was Quatre who moved to hold her, and Wufei who closed the door, as she closed her eyes and dropped to the floor. 

~owari Chapter 23~   



End file.
